20 Soothing Phrases to Help Reassure a Frightened Child

Sarah B
May 26, 2021

When a child is scared, finding soothing phrases to use will help calm the intense emotion.

While you would like to prevent children from experiencing fear, is not a realistic option. Instead, you must find ways to calm the child and help him through these moments. Reassuring phrases are helpful because they allow the child to open up and also help him gain perspective.

Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words to use. These reassuring phrases will help you say the right thing every time, allowing you to help the child effectively.

Twenty reassuring phrases to help reassure a frightened child

Try them to calm your little one’s frazzled nerves.

1. Can I hug you or snuggle with you?

With a scared kid, they must be comfortable. Let them choose their position and you will adapt to them. The physical contact along with the reassuring gesture gives them the opportunity to feel safe and relaxed.

2. I’m not going anywhere until I’m feeling better. I’m here to help.

Stay with the child until the feeling passes and make sure they know they are not going anywhere. When they understand that they will not be alone, it will help them to overcome the situation. Ask the child what he needs from you and let him guide the experience in this way.

Not only will your presence reassure them, but asking what they need gives them a way to control the situation. Once they feel in control, they can cope with their emotions a little better.

3. Let’s make a list together of all the ways you could try to calm yourself down.

When you help your child make a list of coping strategies, it works in a number of ways. The child switches to logical thinking, which will help him see beyond fear. It gives them ideas that they can use to overcome the overwhelming emotion they are experiencing.

In addition, it works as a way of making the child feel that he is regaining control. Once the list is complete, you can ask them what coping strategy they want to use. When they decide, it gives them a confidence boost and helps to lessen the fear they feel.

4. Maybe you can draw what you are feeling.

Sometimes children have a hard time explaining their feelings. Encourage the child to draw what he is feeling and it will serve as an outlet and a method of communication. If they don’t know what to draw, suggest that they draw a monster that characterizes their feelings.

5. Sometimes I feel scared too and I know it is difficult.

When a child knows that adults are sometimes scared too, it will be easier for them to handle it. Connecting with the child can give them an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Also, by validating their emotion, you will show that you respect them and that their feelings are okay.

6. I am proud of you whatever happens and I believe in you.

Children may be afraid that they won’t make someone proud if they don’t do it right. If this is the case, telling the child that you are proud of him no matter what happens will help him feel better. Also, adding the note about believing in them will also help them to have value.

7. Can you tell me how big your concern is?

This may seem like a crazy question, but it helps the child to verbalize his emotions. It also gives you an idea of ​​how scared they are. With this information, the two of you can work on a solution to figure out the rest of the details.

8. Close your eyes and imagine what I say.

Using visualization is a powerful way to reassure a frightened child. Relieves anxiety and helps them imagine a safe, happy, and comfortable place. The more detailed your description, the better your fear will dissipate.

9. Let’s listen to your favorite songs and have a dance party. We can worry later.

Give the child a way to find joy. Music helps because it helps release tension and worry. Dancing to the rhythm of music will help you physically release fear, as it releases anxiety and improves your mood.

10. I love you and you are safe with me.

When a child knows that he is loved, everything is easier to handle. Knowing that they are safe is just as powerful. Repeat this phrase to the child until he has calmed down and then calm him down.

When a child is afraid, things seem worse than they are to him. They need comfort, security, and love to regain control of their emotions.

11. Ask me any questions you have, and if I don’t know the answer, we’ll find out.

Sometimes a child is afraid because I do not understand something or are confused about it. Telling the child that you are open to any question will give him the courage to seek answers. As you gain knowledge, your fears will ease and you will feel much better.

Teach them that learning can help and that there is nothing wrong with asking questions. Also, looking for the answers you don’t know will help solidify the information you just learned.

When you admit that you don’t know either, they’ll feel more self-confident and trust you more. The child will see that you do not always have all the answers, like they do. They will trust your information and trust that you, too, will give them the correct answers.

12. I always remember the time …

Telling stories from the past will distract your child from his fear. Even better, telling stories about a time when they got over something will give them confidence. Before you know it, they’ll feel better and get over the fear.

13. Why do you think you feel this way?

When a child thinks about why he is afraid, it can help him understand it better. Children often don’t think about the reason for something, which is part of why fear can be so overwhelming.

14. I want to know how high you can count!

This phrase will distract the child from his worries and fears immediately. Another counting tactic is to count articles.

You can ask them to count the stuffed animals in their bed or the number of people wearing hats. Look around you and find something that takes a little time.

15. What is one step we can take to improve the situation?

This phrase changes the child’s mindset. Instead of being afraid and doing nothing about it, they learn to see what they can do to improve it. Reassure them that they don’t have to fix the whole situation at once, but that working on the first step helps.

16. Let’s focus on breathing together.

Breathing techniques can help anyone calm down and release negative emotions. This is a strategy that adults use often, but it is just as effective for children.

If you don’t want to do it at first, that’s fine too. You can say that you will do it anyway, but that the child does not have to. Explain that you are going to breathe deeply and that they can join in if they want.

By giving them a choice, you let them feel like they are in control of themselves. As long as your child watches or even hears you breathe, it will continue to have a calming effect. You can also explain how your breathing made you feel.

17. Look at the clock and tell me when two minutes have passed.

When the child looks at the clock, he is a little distracted from his worries. The distraction will allow them to calm their worries for a moment. Then you can explain to them that just like the time passed on the clock, their bad feelings will pass too.

18. Will you tell me all the people you love?

This phrase is beneficial in two ways. First, it will distract the child from his worries and help him focus on positivity. Also, it will fill your mind with all the people who make you feel good.

19. Tell me what you are worried about happening.

Letting your child talk about his fears can help bring him out and give you insight. Once you know what the concern is, you can discuss the changes in that situation. Then discuss the most likely outcome and the other things that could happen.

When the child begins to see all the different possibilities, he will learn that he cannot predict the future. This knowledge will ease their fear because they won’t worry as much about the worst possible outcome.

This phrase will get the child to speak and then the follow-up will help him to think logically. Don’t interrupt when the child is speaking because letting him say it all can help him process it.

20. I think we should go for a walk together.

Since exercise relieves anxiety, it is a beneficial way to lessen your fears. In addition, walking together also offers time to talk. Your child will open up more as you let your concerns out.

Final thoughts on soothing phrases to help calm a frightened child

When a the boy is scaredcalming them down can be difficult. However, with these phrases, it will be easier to calm the child.

Once the the child is calm, these reassuring phrases will help you address the problem with the child. Helping them think about the situation helps them learn to cope. Also, taking the time to be there for the child will benefit both of you.