It is impossible to avoid toxic people all the time, no matter how hard you try. You may have to work with them, or they may be part of Your family. Also, you will regularly meet toxic people in public places like the grocery store or the gas station. Since you can’t completely avoid toxic people, your next best option is to avoid confrontations with them.
Easier said than done, but it is possible. You can’t change other people, but you can change the things you say or the way you react toxic people.
Answering negatively for a toxic person it will only make the situation worse and usually lead to confrontations. Instead, use positive statements to help you avoid unnecessary conflict. Using positivity, you will notice that things are calmer and that you will feel better later.
Positive statements can change the tone of a conversation and steer it in a better direction. These statements can also influence the positivity of the toxic person, at least for the moment. You can also use positive statements to set and enforce limits.
How to recognize toxic people
Recognizing a toxic person is the first step in avoiding confrontations with them. While not everyone has the same features, they are likely to have similarities.
You may notice that they exhibit some of these characteristics:
- do not take responsibility for your mistakes
- they are manipulative
- do not apologize
- they are critical
- I don’t support you
- they are dishonest
- tend to be inconsistent
- They are not reliable
- they often think of their wishes above the needs of others
15 positive statements to help you avoid confrontations with toxic people
Keep these phrases on hand for your next encounter with a toxic person.
1. “I realized that you are upset today. Hope all is well.”
When I point this out to you, they will see that you don’t want conflict. In addition, they will appreciate that you acknowledge their bad mood. By saying this, you reduce the risk of confrontation.
If you have to work with the toxic person all day, this will help you get through the day. Let them know you are there if they need to vent too. So if they come to you, it won’t be to confront you, but to support you.
2. “I don’t feel comfortable with this. Talk about something else.”
Even if you feel a bit uncomfortable saying this statement, it is essential. Otherwise, the conversation will continue and a confrontation may follow. Let the person know that you don’t want to keep talking about that topic.
However, don’t leave it like that. Suggest talking about something else and then take control of the conversation and be positive. Steer the conversation toward a topic that is neutral and safe for both of you.
3. “I can tell you are having a hard time. You should take a break. “
Everyone appreciates when someone notices their feelings and mood, even toxic people. Start by acknowledging your feelings and then suggest a break. They may not have even realized they were poisonous so your comment will help with that too.
After a break, they may come back in a better mood. If his perspective is not better, at least he may not cause conflict with you. Plus, at the very least, they’ll see that you care.
4. “I want to continue this conversation, but I am late. Let’s finish by email. “
If possible, politely walk away from the conversation. While it may be necessary to end the conversation, you can avoid a toxic confrontation by doing so via email.
Since it is more difficult to spread toxicity through email, it could be the perfect communication method. If the other person is still making toxic comments in an email, it will be easier to handle. Email may not be the most direct option, but it could help you avoid a confrontation.
5. “Tell me what can I do to cheer you up.”
No one can make fun of the person who is trying to cheer them up. At least that’s what you can expect and it increases your chances of avoiding conflict. This statement shows that you care, and even if the toxic person doesn’t show it, they probably appreciate it.
6. “Let’s talk about something more exciting.”
Changing the subject can be a great option to avoid confrontations. If you feel like the conversation is taking a negative turn or may lead to conflict, ask for a more interesting topic. Stop thinking about the potential problem and get the toxic person talking about something happier.
7. “Each of us should say three good things that happened today.”
Shifting the conversation to something positive is a big step, as explained earlier. Even better, change the topic to good things that happened during the current day. This will help both of you cheer up a bit and be more positive.
It’s hard to stay toxic while talking about positive things that have happened recently. Also, it is difficult to have a confrontation with someone with whom you just had a positive conversation. Remember this positive affirmation every time you feel tension.
Get toxic people talking about themselves and the things they love. This will help you avoid confrontation because toxic people they tend to love talking about themselves. However, even if they don’t love talking about themselves, it will still distract them for a while.
9. “I don’t want to debate this. There are many more positive things to discuss ”.
It may be difficult to say this, but it is essential to your well-being. By making this statement, you will not only avoid confrontation, but you will also set boundaries. It can also help prevent conflict or toxic behavior towards you in the future.
By adding that there are positive things to discuss, you will avoid offending the person. They will realize that you still want to talk to them, which can further prevent confrontation.
10. “You have a lot to do. Let ‘me help you.”
By recognizing how much the person has to deal with, they will appreciate it. Also, if you offer to help them, they can’t justify abusing you or making rude comments. Everyone needs a break from time to time, even toxic people.
11. “I understand how you feel.”
Being empathetic is always a great way to avoid confrontation. Everyone wants to be understood and they will see that you are trying to see things their way.
12. “You are good at what you do.”
When people feel good about themselves, they are more likely to be positive. Let the toxic person know that they are good at what they do and that they help the situation. If you can, give specific examples of how you know they are talented.
13. “Thank you for your input. I’ll keep it in mind.”
This statement leaves little more to say to the other person. It lets them know that you heard them without causing conflict. Even if you didn’t appreciate their input, thanking them will make things go better.
People generally want to be heard. You don’t have to go with what they suggested, and this statement will end the conversation about it.
14. “You are right. I agree.”
Use this simple positive statement only if it is true. If you don’t agree, you may have more problems. On the other hand, if you agree, make sure they know.
By letting them know that you agree, they will feel understood. If you don’t acknowledge this, they may think that you don’t agree or don’t care, and it may cause a conflict. Be clear up front to avoid potential problems.
15. “Even if we disagree, it’s fine. I respect your opinion, in any way. “
Since you shouldn’t agree with someone if you don’t really agree, use this one when you disagree. Acknowledge that it is okay if you disagree and that you still respect them.
This positive statement also implies that you expect the same respect from them. You can prevent them from starting an argument or having a conflict with you.
So both of you can get through the day without arguing or having tension between you. There won’t be much more to say or discuss on the subject if you end it with this positive statement.
Since it is impossible to completely avoid toxic people, you must learn to avoid confrontations. Of course, there will be times when this is not possible, but it can reduce the amount of conflict you experience.
These positive statements will help you avoid unnecessary conflict and set limits. By improving your mood, changing the subject, or being assertive (but positive), you can change the tone of the conversation. It can even change the mood of the toxic person for a while, allowing them to experience a bit of positivity.
Your I do not deserve to deal with the negativity and toxicity of anyone, and it is not necessary. However, always remember that positivity will take you further than negativity. Speak with these positive statements and you will avoid confrontations while staying cheerful and friendly.