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Psychology Reveals Why Emotionally Vulnerable People Are So Attractive


Do you have a mental list of the characteristics that you find most attractive in a partner? You want to fall in love with a kind, honest, loyal, hard-working and generous person who has a great sense of humor. However, would you consider adding vulnerable people to your list?

How would you define vulnerability? Would you say it is exposing your weaknesses and risking getting hurt? According to an article published by Global leadership network, Dr. Brené Brown has spent years researching and writing on the subject.

The article shares excerpts from his book, Dare greatly. Brown says that vulnerability cannot be strictly defined as good or bad, light or dark. She explains it as the essence of feeling and where our deepest emotions are born.

For Brown, the article states, being vulnerable means you are at uncertain risk of emotional exposure. Perhaps that is why you may find vulnerable people attractive. Perhaps it is their willingness to endanger their hearts that is so enduring.

Don’t confuse vulnerability with weakness

Some people have the misconception that vulnerability equals cowardice, which is far from the truth. It takes someone strong and courageous to let someone else see your weaknesses. Taking risks for love is not for the faint of heart.

On the other hand, those who lack courage refuse to show their feelings. They often have no satisfaction healthy relationships because their hearts are shackled and solidly closed. Vulnerable people close their eyes, hand over the key to their heart, and hope for the best.

What are some of the common things that vulnerable people do?

Do you recognize that feeling of isolation and loneliness when you were a new kid at school? Belonging is a basic human need, as is the need for shelter, love, and nurture. An article published by Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc, affirms that our need to belong is fundamental to our health and well-being.

People who are not afraid or ashamed to show their vulnerability are often the first to express their feelings. If you are in a relationship, these expressions can be attractive. Here are some of the everyday things they can do before you:

•Say I love you.”

• Say how much they care about something

• Reveal the joys and pain of your past.

• Be real with your emotions

• Trust again after being hurt.

• Be honest with themselves and with others

• Sincerely apologize for mistakes and shortcomings.

• Refer to your relationship as “we” instead of “you” and “me”.

Since these are also things a genuine person would do, it’s no wonder they are so attractive. Being vulnerable frees people from the notion that revealing yourself and expressing your feelings are signs of weakness.

Top reasons that make vulnerable people attractive

Are you attracted to a vulnerable person? These are some of the most endearing qualities that make them so irresistible.

1. They are genuine

In a world full of “fake” people, it is attractive to find the real people. Vulnerable people know that they are flawed and don’t try to hide anything. They are people who are comfortable in their skin.

When you ask their opinion, you know that they will be honest with you, even if it hurts a little. They are as loyal to you as they are to themselves, which is an essential trait in a partner. What you see is what you get, and that’s something you can appreciate about them.

As an authentic person, he does not hide secrets. Although they can be trusted with confidential information, they will not do things behind your back or hide it from you. Vulnerable people are often an open book.

These individuals are not overly concerned with what people think of them. They know who they are and they are not going to change just to please. People who are vulnerable also often accept others for who they are without ulterior motive.

2. They know that trust is important

Do you value trustworthiness in your partner? According to an article published by Simply psychology, humans begin to learn to trust newborns. The report cites the groundbreaking work of Dr. Erik Erikson, who theorized that babies earn the trust of their primary caregivers.

So learning to trust is a lifelong endeavor, especially in a relationship. If your partner trusts you enough to expose your vulnerability, it shows that your relationship is maturing. People who are vulnerable value trust because they know that it is the only thing that keeps them from hurting themselves.

3. They are excellent communicators

It is almost impossible to have a satisfying relationship without communication. It is the way you and your lover express your thoughts, needs, and feelings. Unless you are talking and listening to each other, your bond will not last.

A vulnerable partner knows how essential communication it is, and they know how to use it. They are not afraid to tell you what is happening in their lives and the things that matter to them. As excellent communicators, they excel at active listening and want to hear what is on your heart and mind.

4. They are naturally empathetic

There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy. If a friend is having a difficult time, you can be supportive or “feel sorry” for him. However, empathy takes emotion one step further. If you sympathize with your friend’s pain, you will feel the raw emotion along with him.

Vulnerable people use the hurts and disappointments in their lives to feel empathy for others. They can use the most painful memories as an empathic bond between themselves and their loved ones. If your partner has a vulnerability, they will be the first to hold you in dark and unsettling times.

You don’t need to worry about your partner making fun of your feelings. Instead, your vulnerability makes you even more attractive to them. It is the law of attraction at its finest.

5. They focus on emotional and spiritual growth

No one in their right mind wants to suffer or be hurt. However, it takes both good and bad experiences in life to make us grow emotionally and spiritually. Vulnerable people understand that they take risks when entering relationships.

Unfortunately, not all relationships work, and some can be toxic. Some of these broken relationships can leave scars that can last a lifetime. But vulnerable people often feel that finding love is worth the risk.

Instead of reflecting on past hurts and failures, they have learned to accept them as tools for growth. The scars on their hearts show that they are not afraid of love and are willing to take risks. It is one of the beautiful qualities of these people.

6. They own their mistakes

Nothing is more frustrating than having a lover who refuses to admit mistakes and shortcomings. Worse still is when they try to blame you or someone else. Vulnerable people are in touch with their feelings and can admit when they are wrong.

They do not like to hurt others and will be the first to apologize and try to make amends. Bitterness is not their style, so they are often quick to forgive. It does not mean that they will be a doormat for everyone, but they are willing to give you another chance.

7. They bring out the best in you

Do you have a problem expressing your emotions, even if it makes you feel vulnerable? Perhaps you were raised with the idea that stoicism equals strength and that being emotional equals weakness. It can be appealing to meet someone who is not afraid to show their vulnerable side.

It is a beautiful lesson that you can learn from them. They appreciate the support you give them and are your best cheerleader. When your heart feels exposed, you are empathetic and can be trusted to have your best interests in mind.

They are also sincere and specific when they compliment you. As you learn to be more emotionally expressive, they lovingly validate your feelings. They are a living example of how to be honest with yourself and with others.

8. They know how to be a team player

People who are comfortable with their vulnerability find that they cannot do everything themselves. They have assessed their strengths and weaknesses and are not afraid to ask for help. It makes them even more attractive because they value your input and are grateful that you are there for them.

While they still know how to maintain their individuality, a vulnerable couple appreciates their union. It makes them even more attractive in your eyes because they balance each other. Each of you has strengths and weaknesses that complement the relationship.

Final thoughts on why vulnerable people are so attractive

There is an intense magnetism that attracts people who are comfortable with their vulnerability. Your ability to be open with your feelings is one of your greatest strengths. When you fell in love With a person who can be real with you, you can cultivate a relationship that can last for many years.


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