Love is a choice. It takes a second to fall deeply in love with someone, but it can take a lifetime to get over those feelings. If you start dreaming about an ex, it can cause all kinds of emotions to explode.
If he the relationship was toxic, then he might be trying to sort things out in his mind. It is never easy to consider all the bad things in a relationship. However, if something was right between the two of you, but it just didn’t work out, then maybe your heart has feelings that you have never processed.
Ten Reasons You May Be Dreaming Of An Ex
When you lay your head on the pillow at night, you are powerless to prevent your mind from wandering and dreaming. Sometimes your brain will replay loops from the past and you will be forced to relive these events over and over again.
However, if a dream arises about an ex, it is worth investigating, especially if it keeps happening. Here are the ten most common reasons why people dream of an ex-lover.
1. You have unresolved feelings
First of all, when people dream of an ex, it usually signifies some unresolved feelings. Do you still love this person? Would you be with them again in a heartbeat?
A breakup doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t love someone, but people often go their separate ways because love isn’t enough. Peripheral factors can play a role in why things didn’t work out. Surprisingly, you can have dreams due to unresolved feelings months or even years after your separation, especially if they were your first love.
2. You miss their friendship
Relationships are much more than romance. If you started on the right foot, you were friends first. Being friends with someone hurts when you break up.
You still long for their company and hang out. While that might be fine in some respects, if he has moved on with another relationship, the new person may not want a former lover to stay with him. Even when the romance ends, the friendship and the reason the two of you came together still exists.
You may miss your friend, with whom you had so many good memories.
3. You are worried about them
Sometimes relationships have negative overtones that separate you. For example, if your ex had a substance abuse problem, was in trouble with the law, or was involved in other unscrupulous acts, it is natural for you to worry about them.
He ended up worrying about their safety, but that doesn’t mean he stops loving them. Dreaming of an ex can mean that you are only worried about him and hope that he will make better decisions.
4. You are disappointed
Maybe they broke up with you. Maybe you’re just disappointed that things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. People can hold on pain for a relationship long after the fact.
If you had high hopes and dreams for a future together, the disappointment of separation could be very difficult to handle. When you harbor disappointments in yourself, in others, and in the situation, it is common for them to appear in your dreams.
5. There was no closure
What if there was no closure on your situation? In some cases, a person can become ill or die, and you must try to live life without them. Closure is essential for you regarding situations, and when you don’t have that necessary mental separation, it can be a nightmare.
According to Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D. by Psychology Today, writes that there is tremendous pain and anguish that comes from not having a proper closure in a relationship. Your innate cognitive makeup needs a defined past, present, and future, and when you don’t close one topic, it’s hard to move on to the next.
When someone declined or failed to close due to circumstances, it leaves many questions unanswered. It is a deeply traumatic experience, but there are ways to overcome it. Consider writing a letter to your ex, avoid overthinking the situation, talk to a therapist, or let him go.
6. You yearn for the security they gave you
Some people break up after years of being together. This is especially true when couples have been married for years and have children. Many times, people stick together because they find safety in routine.
It’s not that you don’t love this person, but maybe you’re not in love with them anymore. Still, it is easier to stay together and feel safe than to venture into uncharted territory. You may be dreaming of an ex when you don’t feel safe in your current environment.
Maybe you are alone for the first time in a long time and you don’t know how to fly solo. The good news is that these feelings will pass over time, but it will be a bit of an adjustment when you are alone instead of being part of a couple.
7. Your subconscious can’t let go of anger
If you are angry about the things that happened between you and your ex, then it could be that you are furious inside. Even if you start to get over these feelings, your mind can highlight all the reasons why you feel upset again. When you thought it would be easier to navigate, something will trigger a thought or memory that will send you spiraling down the path of negativity.
Anger is a strong emotion that is based on adverse feelings. While your feelings may be perfectly justified, you must find a way to deal with them. According to Your anger coach, anger is difficult to overcome because it is intertwined with other emotions. They also claimed that blaming everything on someone else avoids personalizing the situation.
Nobody wants to be to blame for what happened, but there are always two sides to every story. If you really weren’t at fault, then it’s time to forgive them. Don’t think of forgiveness for their sake, do it for the mental health and closure you need.
8. Maybe your ex is also thinking or longing for you
What if the person you are dreaming of also dreams of you? Many people end their relationships prematurely over a silly disagreement, but yearn to be in each other’s arms again. If there is still a lot of love and passion between the two of you, is there a way to solve your problems?
Sometimes all they need is a little time apart from each other so they can see how much they really mean to each other. Sending a text message, an instant message, or a card may be enough to test the waters and see if it could be the Universe trying to bring them back into each other’s arms.
9. You have post-traumatic stress disorder
Perhaps their relationship was horrible and they suffered abuse while they were together. Whenever you’ve been through tragic things, it leaves a lasting imprint on your brain. Post-traumatic stress disorder is often considered a condition that affects people who have served in a war.
However, you can experience PTSD in any traumatic situation in your life. According to The Mayo Clinic, all it takes is a terrifying event to trigger this anxiety response. Therefore, when you have such a debilitating problem, you need advice and other management tools to address it.
10. You need to apologize
Was there any fault on your part that you should apologize for? Did you do or say something that caused the end of the relationship? You may be thinking about your ex because you feel guilty about the way things turned out.
Dreaming of an ex is one of the ways the Universe could urge you to make amends. It doesn’t mean they have to get back together and be the happy couple they were before, but it does mean they need to clear things up. When you have hurt someone, you must do things right as a decent human being.
Final thoughts on dreaming about an ex
In the 1980s, pop sensation Heart had a huge hit with “These Dreams.” The lyrics of this song said that every second of the night, you live another life. It’s true; Your dreams can take you on a journey to a distant land or bring back the faces of your loved and lost ones.
Often times, your brain brings things to the fore because it is unconsciously thinking about them. Do you have an ex who is still fresh in your mind and heart? Do you long to say that you are sorry for something you’ve done someone you loved?
Dreaming of an ex is often a painful experience, but it is not uncommon. The key to solving these problems is discovering what is consuming you and mending yourself. Perhaps, you need to communicate with this person. If you have unresolved feelings, they may have them too.