Many people feel stressed by their blemishes. It is a behavior that has been promoted since the dawn of civilization. In fact, people want so much to be perfect that they can do strange things to achieve this wish.
It can be stressful trying live to perfection. Even if you like to be perfect or strive to be perfect, it can still create a lot of stress. It is not healthy to live this way.
This leaves one to wonder. If it’s not healthy to try to be perfect all the time, why do you do it? You may not realize how much you are hurting yourself with this desire to meet incredibly high standards.
Crazy as it may sound, you may need to aim lower. Here’s why.
To be human is to have defects
As California therapist Sharon Martin, LCSW, wrote, “Everybody has flaws and makes mistakes.” In his article, Accept your imperfections, points out many ways people have flaws and why you shouldn’t worry about these flaws.
People are late all the time. They may eat too much and not get enough exercise. Sometimes people are too mean and other times they are too nice.
Sometimes people get lazy and ignore their responsibilities. While all of this is frowned upon, Dr. Martin points out that it’s perfectly normal to make mistakes and have flaws. Therefore, you should not punish yourself for it.
When you think about it, mistakes are mistakes and you should learn from them, but flaws are just flaws because someone said they are. These flaws become taboo due to the expectations that society has created for people to fit in and stay aligned.
This does not mean that you should become a rebel. However, you must realize that you feel flawed because you compare yourself to other people who you believe are not flawed. Dr. Martin said that looking out at people makes you think they have it all together, but you are not getting the whole story.
One big point that Dr. Martin made in her article was that you don’t hold yourself up to the high standards you do. If you did, you may start to see little cracks in the facade of your perfect life.
What is the definition of perfect, really?
It is normal not to be perfect. In fact, when you think about it, it’s hard to even define what makes a person perfect because we are all different. That would mean that only one person on earth is perfect.
Every human being on earth is unique, even identical twins they have differences. Who can say that one person is perfect and the other is not? Does it make sense for a person of a world population out of more than 7.8 billion people is he the only perfect person on the planet?
The definition of perfection began to take shape from the moment you were born. “In childhood, many of us learn that we need to be perfect, that we have to look in a particular way, act in a particular way, and meet other people’s expectations, even at the expense of our own well-being,” says Dr. Martin. … And our childhood experiences often plant the seeds of perfectionism, giving us the message that we are not good enough as we are. “
As Dr. Martin points out, perfection is simply a perception. It’s one that someone – your parents, your teachers, your neighbors, celebrities on television, the president – embedded in your brain. Perfection is more idealistic than anything else; are the expectations that society has of you.
You grew up not wanting to disappoint society. You are taught to do your best, to give your best, to give your best. There’s nothing wrong with striving to be your best, but striving for an unattainable concept of perfection will leave you disappointed at every turn.
Five tips to help you accept being less than perfect
Hopefully, you’ve now realized that perfection isn’t real, which means imperfections aren’t real either, at least not in the sense that they’re a flaw. Maybe you’re not like everyone else and maybe you don’t have it all together like you think your idol does. In fact, your idol may be surprised that you think he’s perfect because he has the same misconceptions about perfection as you.
The things that you consider imperfections … you must accept those things. That’s who you are and that’s pretty cool. You should never feel that you are not good enough to be yourself.
In her article, Dr. Martin gives one of the best reasons why you should embrace your imperfections. They make you an authentic person.
Authentic people connect better with others. Nobody wants to connect with a false and lying person. People can tell when you’re pretending, and since no one is perfect, you’d be pretending if you looked perfect.
Authenticity means being able to admit that you have struggles and concerns in life. By doing this, you can help other people. Some people need to know that they are not alone in their struggles, that it is normal to have these problems. You could be an inspiration to someone just by being authentic.
This does not mean that you cannot aspire to do better. It’s always good to acknowledge that you may not be your best self right now so that you can improve. However, at no point during this process should you feel like an imperfect or imperfect individual.
When you accept your imperfections, you will discover that you are a better and more complete person. You’ll be happier and more relatable, which is way better than being a perfect, fictional drone.
It’s not always easy to accept your flaws, especially if you’ve spent your life pretending you don’t have them. However, with a little practice, you can learn to accept yourself for who you are. Here are some tips to help you get started accept your flaws.
1. Start to see your flaws differently.
This is the first step to acceptance. Realize that your flaws are not flaws! Call them what you want: quirks, character traits, etc., but realize that there is nothing wrong with these parts of you. It’s okay to consider areas of yourself as areas for improvement, but let go of the notion that these areas are wrong or bad.
2. Take care of yourself.
Unfortunately, it can be all too easy to fall into a routine of not taking care of yourself when stressed by flaws. You may start to think that there is no point in taking care of yourself because things are not getting better anyway.
This is the wrong way of thinking. When you look and feel your best, it’s so much easier to accept yourself for who you are. So, no matter how difficult it is, make it a habit to always take care of your health and your appearance.
3. Remember that your thoughts are just thoughts.
Sometimes people get caught up in negative thoughts. Let’s face it: we all have negative thoughts from time to time. However, it is important to realize that these are just thoughts, not necessarily reality.
You probably won’t stop having negative thoughts (although you can practice having fewer of them), so you need to learn to have the thought and then get it out of your mind. Having affirmations around you can help with this. Put them directly in your line of sight and refer to them when you have negative thoughts.
4. Stop being self-critical.
Remember that you are your worst critic. The way you see yourself is usually not the way others see you. You can criticize things about yourself that others have not even thought about.
This does not mean that you should live your life according to what others think of you. This means that you need to stop worrying about all the things that you think are wrong with you. Focus on the positive; focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t.
5. Set realistic goals and expectations.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your missing areas, but you need to be realistic about what you can do.
An example is comparing yourself to your idol or a celebrity. Promising to look like a celebrity in six months is probably not feasible; in fact, that celebrity probably doesn’t even look like what you see in the media. They wear tons of makeup, wear plastic surgeons, wear slimming clothes, and have their photos touched up.
Your appearance isn’t the only area where you should have realistic expectations. Other areas are your education, career, love life, family life, religion, and more. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be perfect and improve little by little. Your goals should be smart and achievable so you don’t set yourself up for failure from the start.
Dr. Martin’s article highlights how today’s society makes it too easy to obsess over your flaws. Living standards appear to continue to improve, making it difficult to meet those expectations. However, you must resist the temptation to be perfect because perfection is simply a facade.
Accepting your imperfections is the only way to bring some peace into your life. Realize that you don’t have to be perfect because no one is perfect. It’s okay to have flaws.
Above all, love yourself and take care of yourself. This will help you feel good and stay positive, and eventually it will be easier for you to accept yourself as you are.