You’ve probably seen movies like Naughty daniel or Problem child. Everyone knows the disturbing child who seems to march to the beat of his own drum, but it is not funny when you are faced with these disturbing behavior problems every day.
When a the child is difficult to handle and it makes your life miserable, there is much more than meets the eye.
While there could be an underlying medical condition, there may also be some kind of deeply buried damage that they don’t know how to process. Now, you must separate the occasional tantrum and the outburst from what is a real behavior problem. According to the Children’s Mind Institute, emotional dysregulation goes beyond the occasional explosion.
The child who suffers from angry, defiant, or hostile behavior has something that requires your help. You can punish this child and even use creative methods of discipline, but until you know what is going on, there is no way to deal with it effectively.
Ten things to learn from disruptive behavior in a child
All parents want the child to do exactly what they are told without counterattacks. However, those children are few and far between. If you’ve raised a child from birth to adulthood, you know that everyone has problems. However, some problems are worse than others.
The key is to find out what you can learn from these behaviors. While you may want to run away and never look back, your child is crying out for help and needs it. They are trying to tell you something in the best way they know how. So here are some things you can learn from your child’s behavior.
1. They are afraid
When a child suffers from a anxiety disorderThey don’t know how to tell you that they’re scared inside You know what anxiety feels like as it is a natural part of life. However, it is also a disorder when your body cannot control or regulate these feelings of impending doom.
The symptoms of anxiety are very different in children than in adults, although the feelings are the same. They may present with headaches, stomachaches, or use illness as an excuse to avoid going to school or other activities. Social anxiety is a huge problem in today’s world and your child may need effective help and skills to cope with the situation.
2. They are angry
Oppositional defiant disorder is one of the most worrisome childhood conditions to handle. These children are belligerent, mean, resist authority, and can be impossible to handle. However, these hostile and negative behaviors have more to do with the mind.
Your child could be trying to tell you that he has neurological problems that are affecting his ability to calm down. According to The Mayo Clinic, it takes a whole team of doctors and psychologists to manage this condition, so these behaviors are a sign that you and your child need help.
3. They feel so much energy that they could explode
The child with ADHD He is known for his disruptive behaviors. If you have a child with this diagnosis, chances are they have had a lot of things broken in their home, as well as many trips to the ER. Dr. Amy Roy of Fordham University has studied this mental health problem for decades.
She found that more than 75 percent of children who display hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, and impulse control problems meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. So while your child bouncing off the walls and making poor decisions can drive you crazy, it’s what’s going on inside their little minds that is the real problem.
4. They are frustrated
Is homework time a battlefield at home? If your child’s tantrums almost always happen around school work, then it is a sign of something much more significant. Learning disabilities are difficult to identify in some children.
How do some children go to school without the ability to read? They become professionals camouflaging their problems. There could be a problem like dyslexia, a low IQ, or cognitive delays. While you see them frustrated and irritable, the heart of the matter runs much deeper.
Most parents believe they can punish them. However, yelling at your child and demanding that he stay put and do his job is not going to solve the problem. Instead, it would help if you looked at the big picture.
5. They are trying to escape
Sensory processing disorder it is very misunderstood. Have you ever had a sunburn that was sore to the touch? Having such a disorder is like someone scratching a sunburn. The level of pain you feel is intense, but those around you have no idea of the agony.
When you have a processing disorder, you see and perceive things differently. For example, going to the grocery store for this child may be impossible. The bright lights, the sounds of spinning cartwheels, the distant chatter, and the jangle of records make them feel an impending doom. Their fight or flight mode kicks in and they misbehave.
Your three-year-old does not know how to tell you that he has processing problems, so he throws violent tantrums and even screams until he is drenched with sweat. You’ve seen the mom in the store trying to calm down her crying son, and now you know it can be more than just a matter of discipline.
A child in need of love can often use disruptive behaviors to get your attention. Think of them as the two-year-old in a park who is screaming like crazy, wanting you to pick them up. It doesn’t matter if they are two or 16 years old, they will use their behaviors to get your attention.
Parenting is difficult on a good day, but when your child is hurting, he may need to feel your arms around him. A 16-year-old can act much like a toddler, although his temper tantrums are a bit more subdued. People think that 18 is a magic number in parenting and they believe that their life will be so much easier if they are not at home.
However, you will soon discover that the older the child, the more important the problems. Parenting is a job for life, and not just until they become legal adults.
7. They need time alone
Why is time out so suitable for some children? Well, parents often place unrealistic expectations on the child. How many times have you complained about them for having a bad attitude, but you also have the same grumpy nature?
Parents must realize that sometimes children need to be alone to recharge their batteries. The classic introverted child he needs that time of solitude to be able to calm down. Waiting time or sending them to their room allows them to take a few minutes, purge the bad from their brains, and start over.
8. They have executive functioning problems
Does your child go through spells where they are loud, obnoxious, or have exaggerated stupidity? While it is annoying to you, what they are trying to tell you is vital. These disruptive behaviors are often indicative of sensory processing and behavior disorders.
There may also be problems with language or memory, as well as visual and spatial problems that need to be addressed.
9. They engage in disturbing behavior when they are sad inside.
Has your child gotten more tearful these days? Do they cry a lot for the slightest reason? Those tears can indicate a difficulty like childhood depression. Although it seems like an adult problem, the CDC states that 1.9 million children between the ages of 3 and 17 suffer from depression.
The symptoms of hopelessness in adults and children are not always the same. When your child is sad, it can be depression, but it can also be due to not getting enough sleep, is hungry, feeling sick, or anxious.
10. They cannot handle strong emotions
When your child hits, hits, bites or hits another child; they are punished. While disruptive behaviors like this cannot be tolerated, there may be more to the story. Everyone needs coping skills to get ahead in life.
For example, can you imagine what would happen if you hit your boss when he gave you too much work? As you reach adulthood, you develop skills that help you control those feelings. However, your child may have trouble with his anger and keep it under control.
When you see violent tendencies like these, it’s time for you to seek counseling. While you can expect to see behaviors like these in a 2-3 year old, an adolescent who keeps doing such things is cause for alarm.
Wouldn’t it be great if kids came up with a manual where they could look up the problem and find the diagnosis instantly? Sadly, life doesn’t work that way. Instead, parents must become detectives to piece together the clues and determine what is really going on with their child.
Also, part of solving the mystery often means involving your pediatrician and a psychologist. When you see that your child is acting in a way that is not like his usual self, or that his disruptive behaviors have worsened, it’s time to get to the bottom of things.
If you are not satisfied with these behaviors, imagine how miserable your child feels inside. Unfortunately, the outward appearance is always a direct reflection of what is going on on the inside. Fortunately, help is available for all of these and many other problems that occur to children.