Your partner was stronger than you thought, until you pushed them away.
You probably didn’t realize how much the breakup would affect you. After all, you weren’t the one one that got hurt; it was her. However, as you will now realize, a breakup affects both parties, even if it affects them in different ways.
The reason you are reading this is that your ex seems fine without you while you are sitting, regretting your decision. You are probably wondering why. You probably thought your ex would come back, begging to be with you again, but instead, he’s thriving without you.
First, I want to congratulate you on taking the initiative to find out why. Doing so shows at least a small spark of humanity in you after everything you’ve put your ex through.
However, you may not like what follows. It will be tough, but knowing this information could make you a better person for the next relationship. Consider this a reality check. Although we talk about “her” in this article, it is never okay to mistreat others. This advice can be applied to both women and men.
Eight reasons why your partner found his strength
1. She has been dealing with heartbreak the entire time.
When people are heartbroken, it can be devastating. They are flooded with emotions that can be difficult to overcome. However, eventually, the person overcomes these emotions and finds the strength they need to move on.
In your case, you’ve always been breaking your ex’s heart. She has dealt with the pain of betrayal, the pain of being taken for granted, your abuse, your cruelty and all the things you’ve done to her for so long. Now she is a professional in managing those emotions.
This does not mean that she is not in pain right now, but she is so used to feeling pain for you that it is much easier for her to ignore it and focus on a better future.
In a sense, you’ve conditioned her to get along without you. You gave her the practice and strength she needed to walk away and not let her emotions get the better of her.
2. He realized how strong he was after leaving you.
Women are powerful. They can reach a breaking point, but bend enough to get to a new starting point instead of breaking. Your ex may not have known how strong he was the moment he left, but once he was able to take in that unique, fresh breath of air, he realized his incredible tenacity to stand on his own two feet.
Your ex probably loves the person they are without you. You no longer have to endure the pain. She can focus on herself without restriction and can finally be genuinely happy. Everything you did to her helped her overcome her fears and develop her strength, so now nothing is stopping her.
A strong woman will not allow anyone to hold her. He may have allowed you to do that for a long time, but now that he’s feeling his strength, you can be sure that he will never let you do that to him again.
3. She interrupted you.
Oh. That probably hurts, but getting you out of his life was exactly what he needed to do better. She knows this, so she’s completely cutting you out of her life.
It would be helpful if you were faced with the fact that you and she broke up. She won’t be back and you’re lucky if she contacts you. In R. Kelly’s words, “When a woman is fed up, there is nothing you can do about it.”
In fact, it’s not uncommon for women to go and go everything, Not only you. She doesn’t care about furniture, cars, dogs, or anything else you’ve shared. She wants to go out and she no longer wants to have anything to do with you.
For you, this hurts. For her, it is exactly what she needs. The more time passes without communicating with youthe more strength you will find. The least you can do is respect their new peace. You owe him a lot.
4. Her abuse helped her realize exactly what she wants in a partner.
Your ex now knows what not to accept in a relationship. More importantly, she knows what qualities wants in a partner. This means that the next relationship you have will likely be successful and he will be happier than he could have been with you.
It may take a while for you to get back on the dating scene. After all, she is human and she may still be dealing with some emotions from the failed relationship (not enough to come back to you, unfortunately). However, she is much better now that you have taught her what a bad partner is.
You may be a little sad, but you can sleep at night, knowing that you did everything you could to save the relationship. But she has no fault because she was an incredible companion. She gave you all her love, even when you didn’t deserve it.
When a person does not feel guilty about leaving the relationship, they have nothing weighing on them. Your ex is as light as a feather and as free as a bird. She has no unfinished business with you.
It’s a shame you can’t say the same. This is probably why you are reading this, maybe you have some guilt that is eating you away. Guilt can keep you stuck in the past and negatively affect your emotional strength. As much as he deserves to feel guilty, it would be better if he let it go. You’ll need to figure that out so you can move on as well.
6. You neglected your goals for so long that you are now ready to focus on them.
Your ex put aside his goals and passions to be there for you. She kept giving and giving and giving in the hope that somehow it would be enough for you. I was hoping you would see how he supported you and that he would return the favor.
Now your ex sees how he has neglected what he wanted. Since your eyes are open, there is no way you will ever neglect your own needs again. This is his moment and he will never let you take that away from him again.
Now you are putting your goals and your future first. She should have focused on them the entire time and you should have supported her. It’s too late for you to support her now, but it’s never too late for her to become a priority.
7. She recognizes her worth.
Finally, her ex-partner saw her value, which is why she finally decided to end things with you for good. She realized she was too good to keep going through the shit you were doing it for. Eventually, she understood that she deserved better and that she was never going to get something better from you.
She left you behind so she could seek her courage. Now it’s starting to get stronger, albeit slowly at first, and you don’t fit the picture anymore. The two of them probably could have been gold together, but they wouldn’t keep their end of the bargain.
She sank with you long enough. It’s your time to shine and you deserve it. Without you weighing it, it will soar to new heights you never imagined before.
8. She honestly thinks you don’t want her.
Your ex-partner has likely heard criticism from friends and family repeatedly. They told her you didn’t love her and that’s why you mistreated her. She took in you for so long, telling people close to you that they were wrong about you. So she excused you, and even when that voice in her head told her that her friends and family were right, she ignored it and stayed with you anyway.
Then it happened.
He opened his eyes and saw things as they were. Maybe you love her somewhere very deep, but for some reason, you were never going to show it. For some reason, you were unable to love her as she needed to be loved.
She realized that you don’t really love her, or maybe you were just incapable of loving her. Either way, he decided that he wasn’t going to live that way any longer. She realized that she is strong, beautiful, and has a lot of love to give to someone who would give it back fully and unconditionally.
You showed her you didn’t love her and she finally believed it.
After reading these eight reasons why your ex seems to get along without you, you are probably wondering what you can do about it. The short answer is nothing. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make her change her mind.
You two have reached a point of no return. You broke her heart and she is finding strength to put it back together without you. You blew it and maybe one day she will forgive you, but you need to let go of the relationship and move on.
I promise to do better next time. Think of all the previous reasons why she has forgotten about you and will never do those things again. Once you are ready to love again, learn from your mistakes and treat your next partner with renewed respect.