We all make mistakes from time to time. However, when you don’t do everything right, does it create frustration or even anger? Nobody is perfect.
So now you should reflect and ask yourself. Why are you so hard on yourself?
When was the last time you got mad because you didn’t do something right? Perhaps it was a silly mistake that he showed the inner perfectionist. Sadly, being hard on yourself is something most people do and is completely normal.
However, while it is normal to be depressed, it does not mean that it is healthy. Part of self-care is learning to love and care for yourself, and this includes being able to speak positively rather than negatively.
Nobody is perfect … So why are people so critical of themselves?
You know that no one is perfect, and there are many lessons you learn in life that mold you to become a better person. Still, why do people punish themselves when they stumble? A recent study shows that women tend to be a bit more critical of themselves than men.
According to an investigation by Tech Times, the average woman will humiliate herself more than eight times a day. Even more shocking is that 89 percent of these women are more eager to compliment others than themselves.
Now, this does not mean that men do not look down on themselves either. It just means that this study showed that women are more likely to criticize their abilities. In many cases, you give the little mistakes in your life more attention than they deserve.
The interesting thing is that you probably won’t even remember these little mistakes a month from now. However, the big mistakes are the ones that make you feel like a complete failure and they are the ones that accompany you.
You must remember that, big or small, your mistakes do not define you or make you a failure. It is a common misconception that your disasters destroy you. Every time he stumbles and falls, he learns a lesson that helps him grow and change.
How many times does a baby fall before learning to walk? Although the toddler’s parents told them not to touch the stove, they did it anyway. However, they found out that the stove is hot so they won’t make that mistake again.
If you don’t make a few mistakes along the way, how will you learn anything? It takes a “burn” from something like touching a hot stove to teach you what is dangerous. Think of your mistakes in life as stepping stones to being better yourself.
Five common reasons for its critical nature
Since no one is perfect, why do you expect you to be flawless? Some experts believe that it is the very basis of human thought. However, this thought process is fueled by many things in life.
1. Competitive nature
One thing that seems to be a challenge for most people is the increasing competition to be more and do more in life. It is a natural part of humanity, but it does not facilitate the psyche. Why do people feel they need to set the bar higher and higher and are never satisfied with what they have accomplished?
Sure, each person has an inner drive that encourages them to do better, but it’s not always beneficial. Social media has changed the way people see themselves. You are no longer just competing with the people in your local neighborhood, but you have friends all over the world showing off their achievements.
Social media sets ridiculous standards that make perfection seems commonplace. If you constantly compare yourself to the world around you, you will never measure up. So once you get to the first position, you will live in fear because you have so much to lose.
One of the main reasons people punish themselves is that they constantly compare their achievements with those of others. Remember that no one is perfect, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
2. No one is perfect, but many still have unrealistic expectations.
According to TechRepublic, The Netherlands has the shortest working week in the world. People in this country work about 29 hours a week.
However, the same article states that the average work week in Colombia is fifty hours and Americans work about 41 hours a week. The workweek is getting longer and the drive for productivity and more work is wearing people out. Not only is your boss likely to have unrealistic expectations, but you are also stressing yourself more to be and do more.
3. The perfectionism trap
The world by nature is very competitive. You don’t have to look too far to see the effects of this ruthless side of the people. Look at social media.
They all post the best moments of their life on display for all to see. You may see a perfect family living in the suburbs, earning a lot of money, and living all of your dreams. Unfortunately, what they don’t show you is the authentic version of themselves.
The problem is, these little snapshots of perfection send a message to your brain that you need to live up to their standards. Nobody is perfect, so why do people try to portray that for the world to see?
You will never be perfect because it is impossible to achieve perfectionism. Even when you reach a goal, you will always find bigger, better, and more that you can accomplish. What you are doing is setting yourself up for failure and low self-esteem.
Following in the footsteps of perfectionism will send you on a downward spiral.
4. Low confidence and esteem
When you set the bar in your life at unattainable levels, you set yourself up for low self-esteem and low self-confidence. Did you know that people with self-esteem problems are more likely to be hard on themselves? These negative emotions can cause you to avoid social settings and be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
You will be afraid to try something new or face challenges because you don’t believe in yourself.
5. Restrictive beliefs
Do you limit your beliefs in what you can achieve? Self-limiting beliefs will alter your abilities. When you set the bar too high and cannot reach it, you are sending a message that you are a failure to your psyche.
Have you ever used the following phrases when you failed?
- “I am a huge failure.”
- “I knew I couldn’t do this anyway.”
- “All I do is screw up.”
- “I’m a loser.”
All this negative self-talk is just giving you evidence to verify your idiosyncrasy. Your self-limiting beliefs will paralyze you if you allow them.
Changing your mindset
Why don’t people understand that it’s okay to not be okay? There is absolutely no reason to constantly beat yourself up for things you can’t control. Nobody is perfect, so stop be too hard on yourself.
Here are some tips for you to practice increasing your self-awareness and stop being so critical.
• Stop making comparisons
It doesn’t matter if your sister has a bigger house and makes more money than you. When you constantly compare yourself to others, you are sending yourself a message that you are not good enough. Trillion dollar industries were created because of these comparative natures, but that doesn’t make it useful.
•Accept yourself as you are
There will be times when you won’t be able to do everything you need to do. Don’t punish yourself when you can’t complete something and don’t care so much what other people think of you. Instead of punishing yourself, remember that you will try harder next time.
• Be grateful for your blessings
When you practice gratitude, you lighten your feelings. Being grateful for all that the Universe has blessed you is without a doubt the right attitude. The next time you beat yourself up for failure, you should stop and start counting your blessings. It’s a game changer that alters your attitude too.
• Try to keep a journal
Developing self-awareness is essential, and journaling gives you pause to reflect on your thoughts. It is better to put all the frustrations and negativity in you on paper. It would be helpful if you had a healthy outlet for your feelings, but you don’t need to punish yourself.
Final thoughts: take a break, no one is perfect
You know that no one is perfect, so why are you trying to fit this perfect mold for a human being? Being hard on yourself is something everyone does, and it will happen no matter what you do. However, you can choose how to handle these thoughts when they enter your brain.
You have the authority to detonate them and render them powerless. Life happens, and if you don’t stumble and fall several times on the way, how are you going to learn any lessons that you can use? Perfectionism is just something that exists in people’s minds, but it’s nothing you can achieve.
There is always the need to do, create, see and be more. The desire to want more can motivate or destroy you, but the choice is up to you.