How to Deal With Someone Who Interrupts Every Conversation

It happens at work, home, and school. You are in the middle of a conversation and someone interrupts you before you can finish your thought. It’s maddening. Everyone is guilty of interrupting once in a while, but what do you do when someone is chronically interrupting? How can you deal gently but firmly when someone interrupts you?

Why do people interrupt?

There are many reasons why people interrupt during a conversation. Most of the time, they I’m not trying to be rude. It’s a good idea to understand why someone interrupts so that you can better deal with them. Here are some of the common reasons people interrupt

1 – They interrupt because they are processing

Some people process their ideas out loud. They get excited when they start to understand their point. They want to agree, intersperse their support and enthusiasm, but it seems like a rude interruption. These people seem rudeand out of control, but they are actually interacting with you.

2 – They interrupt to help

Other people interrupt because they want to help. During a conversation, they fill in your gaps and intersperse their thoughts. These people don’t like pauses, they are uncomfortable with silence, and they make a funny comment. They are not trying to be cheeky, but to reassure you. It may seem selfish and selfish on their part, but overall, they are trying to help.

3 – They are in a hurry

Often times, a person interrupts because they are trying to get you to speed up. They feel the pressure of everything they have to do and they want you to finish your thoughts so they can move on. Perhaps they are doing too many things and listening takes too long in their minds. This can be very damaging to the speaker. These people have no idea how rude and selfish they are being to you. They can cause irreparable damage to their relationships because of the way they act towards others.

4 – They are upset

When you’re in a group discussion and it’s hard to pronounce a word, it can be frustrating. When someone is frustrated because they feel like they are not being heard, they interrupt. It’s normal and maybe you’ve done it before. In a group setting this can be perceived as rude, but often the facilitator of the discussion is to blame for not giving everyone a chance to speak. A good facilitator can avoid situations in which people feel left out.

If you’re overseeing a discussion and feel like you’ve encouraged everyone to participate, but one person is still upset, there could be an underlying issue for that person. It may have nothing to do with the topic of discussion. It could be a problem with another coworker or you feel pressured at work.

If this happens, it may be best to take the person aside after the meeting and find out what’s going on with them. Asking questions in a caring way to show them that you’re not mad at them. Remind them how valuable their contributions are, but when they interrupt, their ideas get lost in the poor presentation.

What to do when someone constantly interrupts you?

There are different strategies you can use when someone is constantly interrupting you. The goal is to be firm, but type. Getting angry will not prevent the person from interrupting or help your relationship with the person.

1 – Ignore the interrupt

When someone interrupts you, sometimes it’s best to ignore the interruption and keep talking. Everyone communicates differently, and sometimes people get excited by what they hear and interrupt because of their enthusiasm. An outage is not worth addressing every time it occurs.

2 – Establish communication rules

If you are leading a meeting, it is important to establish some general communication rules at the beginning of the conversation. At the beginning of the meeting, say something like:

“Just as a reminder, keep your thoughts and questions until each speaker has finished sharing their thoughts.”

Some leaders use a silent hand signal in the air to stop people starting to interrupt. This reminds the interrupter to stop talking without drawing attention to him in the middle of the meeting.

If someone interrupts and you don’t see the signal, you may need to stop the speaker and go back to giving a general reminder, but watch the person who interrupted.

3 – Ask questions

Stop the speaker and ask questions. This allows the interrupter to say what they wanted to say. Sometimes they have good thoughts or worries, but lack the self-control to wait. So asking a question provides a way out. Say something like

“So, are there any ideas or questions so far about what __________ has shared with us?”

This allows the interrupter to share their thoughts and can help you stop interrupting when the speaker continues.

4 – Face the switch

If you’ve tried various strategies to stop a switch without success, your best policy may be to address them. If while you or someone else is speaking, the interrupter clears his thoughts, say something like,

“I want to hear what you have to say, _________, but could you let me finish my thoughts first?”

5 – Gender views on disruption

Interestingly, there is a gendered view of disruption. in a study, 5,000 adults heard an audio clip of a man and a woman in conversation. During the clip, both are interrupted. Those who listened to the audio clip were asked which speaker was rude and which was excited.

Most of the men who saw the audio clip said the woman was rude and unfriendly compared to how they viewed the man who also interrupted. When the women were asked which person was being rude, they did not choose one gender over another. In general, women who interrupt during a conversation are seen as lacking in intelligence or stupid.

For women, it is difficult to break this double standard. Although unfair, being aware of an existing gender perception helps you adjust how you portray your passion in conversations. For example, one notable way the women in the Obama White House shared their passion at work was to frame it as a concern for others. This worked because, in society, women are seen as caregivers.

For men, knowing that this bias exists should help them adjust their thinking about women amid conversions.

What kind of conversationalist are you?

There are two types of talkers in the world; those who speak at the same time as another person as a way to participate; and those who insist that only one person should speak at a time.

The first group of people you don’t like pauses. They feel like they should fill in the empty spaces. This is how they engage during a conversation. For them, interrupting is not rude, it is a free flow of ideas shared all at once. The other group of people think that this kind of layered conversation is rude. They feel that only one person should speak at a time to convey their ideas. They find these interruptions rude.

Although it is good to understand at least both types of talkers, society tends to lean toward the second group that thinks one person should speak at a time.

What if you are the one who interrupts people?

You may find yourself interrupting people. If you are inclined to engage people in a layered conversation style, you may not have realized it was considered rude until someone pointed it out to you. So how can you stop interrupting people? Here are some strategies that may work for you.

1 – Try not to think about what to say

You’ll get in trouble if you half-listen and half-figure out how you want to respond. You may be tempted to jump in with your thinking before the person is done. By doing this, it is easy to miss what the person was saying. Stay committed. Don’t form a response in your brain. Just listen.

2 – Count to twenty

If you are constantly interrupting people, you should reduce your response time. Take a moment, count to twenty, then if the other person has really finished, you can respond. It can be extremely difficult at first with so many thoughts running through your head, but that’s okay. Follow it. Slowing down your response will make you less likely to interrupt people.

3 – Don’t try to solve the person’s problems

Often people do not look for a solution, I just want someone to listen to them. It is not your job to fix people, but to listen and support them. If they ask for your opinion, by all means, share your thoughts. Allowing others to share while you listen will deepen your friendship simply because they feel that you care enough to listen to them.

Final thoughts on dealing with someone who interrupts your conversation