If you are like most people, you have many acquaintances and only a few close friends. You may feel closer to some of your friends than to your family. What are the rules of friendship that make everything work?
Ralph Waldo Emerson revealed the secret of a lasting friendship when he advised that “to have a friend, you must be a friend.” Do you remember being nervous like the “new kid” at school and wondering if you would ever have an inner circle? You probably used the rules for making friends that your parents taught you.
While humans have been to planet earth, friendship has existed. Human beings are social creatures and companionship is a basic need. However, some people make better friends than others.
You are extrovert Who never meets a stranger, or has a hard time opening up to people you don’t know? Even if you are a social person, real friendships take time and effort from both parties. You must work and cultivate a friendship if it is to last.
The importance of having friends in your life
Friendship plays a vital role in people’s lives. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., notes that “One of the most important and yet least understood areas of psychology concerns the role of friends in our lives.”
And we all have different categories of relationships. For example, some of your adult friends may have been with you since childhood. Many people consider their co-workers and colleagues as friends, but they may not be your best friends.
There is a gray area in friendship for people known as “enemy friends. “They are people who act like your friends, but they are not. Although there are many fake friends in the world, they are outnumbered by those who are true blues.
How do you define a friend? Is it someone you can trust and someone who will stand up for you? Is he your loyal friend and would he never betray your trust? The qualities you want in a friendship are the same that others look for in you.
The ten golden rules of friendship
Would you like to expand your circle of friends or cultivate relationships you already have it? It’s a lifetime of work, but every minute is worth it. Here are ten rules of friendship that you should always keep in mind.
1. Be genuine
Have you ever wondered what brought you and your friends together? They were drawn to you because of who you are. Like snowflakes, no two people in the world are exactly the same.
So why would you want to act like something you’re not? Good friends are always genuine, no matter the environment or who is with them. The world is full of fake people, and you don’t need to be one of them. Be proud of who you are and be genuine about your strengths and weaknesses.
2. Be loyal
A friend is a person who you know always has your back, no matter what. It is a basic rule of friendship that cannot be broken. Expect enemies to turn their backs on you when you’re depressed, but not your friends.
Loyalty means They will stand up for each other even when others won’t. When you need it, your friends are the first to help. If you can’t trust your inner circle, who can you trust?
3. Be honest, even when it hurts
Another of the golden rules for relationships is honesty. Have you ever asked a friend for their opinion on a decision you need to make? You did it because you trusted that they would be honest with you.
Sometimes being honest can hurt. Maybe you’re too close to a situation and can’t see the whole picture. A true friend always tells the truth, even if it is not what you want to hear.
4. Know how to apologize and forgive
It takes a lot of guts to get people to admit they are wrong and ask for forgiveness. However, if someone is your friend, they will gladly do so. Selfish people They can only create toxic relationships and will often blame everyone else.
If you’ve made a mistake, be a friend and trust him. Sincerely apologize and try to make amends. Accept your friend’s forgiveness, learn from your mistakes and try not to make them again.
Nothing can ruin a good relationship more than holding a grudge. Forgiveness not only benefits the offender, but is more of a gift to the offended. It does not excuse the wrong that the other person did, nor does it mean that you can forget it.
Forgiveness gives both of you the freedom to overcome a transgression and begin the healing process. Sometimes hurtful words or actions can be too great for you to want the relationship to continue. In those cases, forgiveness can allow both of you to go your separate ways in peace.
5. Spend time together
You enjoy outdoor gardening or grow houseplants? What would happen if you stopped watering and caring for your plants? They would wither and die, in the same way that an uncultivated friendship would.
Friends enjoy spending time together, whether it’s chatting on the phone or going to their favorite restaurant. Remember that quality time is worth more than quantity. Try to meet in person as much as you can, rather than resorting to continually texting or messaging on social media.
If trust is one of the golden rules of friendship, then trust is on your side. When you say something to your close friends in confidence, you hope it doesn’t go any further. Similarly, you must respect the privacy and trust of your friends.
Never assume that just because your friends ask you not to tell anyone about something, it’s okay to pass it on. Friends know each other well enough to understand when to keep quiet about something. Often times, it is a challenge to repair a friendship that has been broken due to a lack of trust.
7. Avoid aggressive confrontation
Since we are all individuals, we all have different opinions that will occasionally clash. It will happen even in the best of friendships. However, the way you handle different points of view can make or break the relationship.
The fact that you and your friend disagree on an issue does not require a confrontation. If you get into a heated debate, step back and give yourself some space. If they are true friends, both of you will apologize and learn to “agree to disagree.”
8. Help each other
Who can you turn to if you can’t go with your friends? Nobody gets high enough in this world that they don’t need anyone else to be by their side. When your friends need help, are you there to listen or help them out?
You’ve probably heard some people labeled “good weather friends.” These people are happy to be your friend when everything is going well, but will abandon you in your time of need.
Being there for each other is one of the essential rules of friendship. When your friends are hurt and depressed, they don’t need clichés or dismissive advice. Just being by your side to listen and share your burden is one of the greatest gifts of friendship.
9. Be the cheerleader for the other
In 2018, psychologists He recognized that one of the best benefits of having friends is the moral support they give and receive from one another.
This is one of the rules of friendship that people can forget after knowing someone for years. Your friends not only want you to share their difficulties, but they also want you to be part of their victories. When they try to do something, they need to hear their cheers of encouragement.
Words like “you can do it” or “I’m on your side” can be the inspiration you need to cross the finish line. A true friend will be happy about the other’s achievements. Petty jealousy has no place in a real friendship.
10. Keep giving and receiving the same
Jerez Gaba, LCSW, states that “healthy relationships are designed for give and take.”
The ancient Romans called it “quid pro quo”, which in modern terms means “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.” There is a give and take in every friendship. However, the ratio should be as close to 50/50 as possible.
It is another of the rules of friendship that reminds you that you should never take more than you give. Almost everyone has had at least one friend in the past who continually wanted their time and resources, but never reciprocated. That one-sided friendship is something that no one needs.
Being a friend doesn’t mean you have to be someone’s doormat. If you have a friend who is only there when he needs you, it may be time to part. True friends know that a relationship is a two-sided street, and they will not use others, nor will they be used.
All the rules of friendship can be summed up by saying this: always treat others the way you want them to treat you. When you have a friend for life, you have found a treasure that money cannot buy.