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Counselors Explain How Setbacks Can Make You Even Stronger

Failures are common no matter what kind of life you come from. Author Allen Klein once said, “I contend that not only can you laugh at adversity, but it is essential to do so if you want to deal with setbacks without defeat.” You hit the nail on the head with this statement.

A study done from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University showed real scientific evidence to back up that old saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” According to Dr. Yang Wang, Ph.D., people who continue to overcome their setbacks fare much better in the long run.

Overcoming adversity in life makes you a strong individual, as the research of Dr. Wang and others shows. Read on to find out how setbacks can make you stronger, according to these scientists and other advisers.

Areas of impact of setbacks

People tend to think that the most important lessons are learned from being successful or from successful people. However, this is not necessarily true. While it is true that it takes a high level of intelligence to achieve success, learn what to do to be successful. Yet you learn what no do to fail.

Winning without failure may sound efficient, but knowledge is power, and you get that by trying new things. Faults prepare you for many scenarios that you may encounter during Your success because you will know what to do when these situations arise in the future.

Remember that adversity is an equal opportunity teacher. Studies show that affects people equally regardless of their age, race, gender, cultural origin or social status.


One of the areas of greatest impact is determination. Failures can increase your resolve, especially when you realize that failure is not the end. Someone might tell you all day that you have a second chance at whatever it is that you failed, but experience is the best way to see it.

Failing doesn’t mean it’s over. Failing simply shows you that it is okay to make mistakes and that you can bounce back from them. Once you have found out about this, your determination will be stronger than ever.

Emotional maturity

Another area of ​​impact that is generally not recognized is emotional maturity. You may not think that emotional maturity is important when trying to succeed, but you would be wrong.

When you run into setbacks, it can be heartbreaking. Your emotions can be all over the place, depending on how bad the setback is. However, the more you fail, the better you can handle these problems.

As you get better at managing problems, you will also get better at managing your emotions. Out-of-control emotions can cause you to make poor decisions, give up on your goals, and ultimately, be a weak person. This is why emotional maturity is so important. You get rid of all these bad habits, keep your emotions in check, and keep moving forward despite any failures you may encounter.

Pride / Humility

A large area affected by failure is pride or humility, depending on how you look at it. Many people, especially those who don’t fail often, have too much pride. You can’t tell them anything. In fact, they are so proud that they have a long way to go when they fail.

While pride has its place in life, it can also cause a lot of problems. Failing helps you keep your pride in check and gives you a layer of humility. This layer of humility is what gives you the ability to absorb life lessons.

Think about it: an extremely proud person doesn’t believe there is anything anyone can teach them. This is a mistake because life never ends teaching you lessons. Failure is what allows you to continue learning to grow and become the best version of yourself.

Determination, emotional maturity, and humility are three parts of a perfect package to help you achieve success. Failure is simply putting these three skills into practice. As you develop these three skills, you will become a stronger person.

Failure gives value to success

Confucius said, “Better a diamond with a flaw, then a pebble without.” Many people think that success is impeccable. However, this is far from the truth. The path to success, paved with failure, is far more valuable than the perfect, flawless path to success.

As stated above, the failures teach you lessons. The value of those lessons is immeasurable. If you are successful without these lessons, you really haven’t gained anything.

The value of success is not measured in numbers. It is measured in knowledge, skill, sweat. It is measured by what you learned along the way and the obstacles you overcome. Without failures, success is worthless. Without setbacks, you really haven’t grown at all.

The key to developing the value of your success through failure is learning not to view adversity as failure. It would be helpful if you consider them lessons. You are the student and life is the teacher. Every time you screw up something or every time something doesn’t go your way, put your emotions aside (emotional maturity) and find something you can learn from the situation. Take a mental note or even a physical note if you need to refer back to what you have learned later.

Some of the greatest and most successful people in the world suffer failures along the way. Some of them were even catastrophic failures that made them have to start all over again. If these people hadn’t learned from these failures and given up, the world would have missed out on some of the best inventions, events, businesses, sports, and more.

An example is Michael Jordan, one of the best NBA players in history. Michael Jordan was eliminated from his high school basketball team. He lost so many games during his career, missed so many shots and disappointed his team on numerous occasions. I could have thrown in the towel at any time. Yet he kept pushing until he was not alone his better, but he was the best. He is now a player that all other NBA players aspire to be. It is a flawed diamond, but it is much better than that pebble.

How to strengthen yourself with your failures

Strengthening yourself from adversity isn’t going to happen overnight, but reading this article and following this advice is a great first step toward that goal. Once you have a good understanding of the information above, you can begin to take more tangible steps to strengthen yourself from your challenges. Some of these steps are listed below.

1. Be a glass half full person.

You can’t get stronger by being negative all the time. According to a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, Amy Morin, Psy.D, you need to think about setbacks in a productive way. Otherwise, you could develop unproductive behavior or stop your self-development progress.

When you experience challenges and failures, look for the silver lining. Anything positive you can get out of it is what will make you stronger. Don’t think of your challenges as failures. Think of them as ways you can improve yourself.

2. Learn from your mistakes the first time.

You may have heard the saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” You won’t get stronger for repeating the same mistakes.

You need to learn from mistakes the first time and make sure you do things differently. Otherwise, you are not really learning anything. If you are not learning anything, you are not getting stronger.

3. Sometimes you have to lose to win.

In many cases, a failure is not really a failure. It is simply a push in a different direction.

Nobody wins every battle. However, the point is to win the war. There will be times when you will have to bear a loss or a failure and you cannot be personal about it.

Learn to let things slip off your shoulders. If something goes wrong, don’t worry. Take the lessons you’ve learned and move on to the next battle.

Final thoughts on how setbacks make you stronger

If you’ve been paying attention until now, you’ll notice that the central theme of this piece was that learning from your mistakes is how setbacks can make you stronger. If you learn nothing, then your failure is just that: a failure.

In life, learning never ends. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how much money you win, how many friends you have, or how many prizes you win. You will always keep learning. The moment you feel that there is nothing more to learn, you have failed.

Strength comes from knowing there is more out there. It would be better if you accepted that you have more to fight for and more to win. After all, if there was nothing else out there, then you wouldn’t need to be strong anymore.

Just keep in mind that you will look stronger and stronger with every setback you face in your life if you learn from failure.


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