Time and comfort can disrupt relationships. As the months go by, you may find that certain parts of your relationship weaken, or you may even feel a less romantic love exchange between you. It might be time to take direct action to strengthen your relationship.
It can be disconcerting to see some cracks appear in a bond, but don’t worry and keep your thinking positive! It is always possible to improve a relationship! Here are nine ways to strengthen your relationship and show more love.
1. Ask new questions to strengthen your relationship
The more time you spend with someone, the less you will learn about them as you already know a lot. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn anything new at all! Often couples get into the habit of just chatting, chatting about friends, work, children, pets. That’s beautiful too, but there should also be time for deeper conversations.
People grow and change over time, and your partner, and you, will change as the years go by. Interests evolve, values change, and new favorites emerge. Take some time to ask each other questions about who you are as time goes by, or ask them about the present: what was your favorite movie this year? You will discover that there is always something new to learn!
When you try things with your partner, you are doing all kinds of new and exciting activities that add elements of novelty, excitement, and freshness to the relationship. You are less likely to fall into ruts and will be able to bond through your new combined experiences. Studies I have found this to be true across the board! You can:
- Take a class
- Learn to cook or bake something new.
- Go to a place where you’ve never been
- Introducing new elements to intimacy
3. Learn the language of love from others
Love languages are the way we naturally communicate and perceive love. Through your language, you express your affection and want to receive that language in return. If you and your partner have different love languages, you can continually express your love for each other without either of you registering the other person’s affection!
Knowing and using someone’s love language is crucial to making them feel appreciated and appreciated, and studies show that you have positive effects on relationships. Here are the five languages of love:
Acts of service
This means that you believe that actions speak louder than words! Someone with this love language will feel more loved when their partner helps them with errands, housework, and small acts of kindness and consideration. For example, someone might pick up your clothes, make you a nice cup of tea, give you a massage, or take care of you when you’re feeling unwell.
Words of affirmation
This means that you like when someone tells you how much they love you verbally. Someone with this love language will feel more loved when directly informed of how much they are appreciated, cared for, and appreciated. For example, someone may tell you that they love you many times a day, verbally encourage or support you, or engage in frequent digital communication with you.
This means that you love receiving visual symbols of love and you like the expected value of someone’s effort and thought to make or buy gifts. Someone with this love language will feel more loved by receiving well-chosen items and will have sentimental value from their partner. This need not be of monetary importance. For example, someone may write you a love letter, buy you a trinket they saw that reminds you of you, buy something for you that you mentioned you need, or create something for you.
· Quality time
This means that you love it when someone makes sure to spend time with you! Someone with this language of love enjoys receiving full attention and participating in meaningful interactions with loved ones. For example, someone might schedule a date night, practice active listening with eye contact when you speak to you, initiate meaningful or in-depth discussions with you, or save all your work and devices to focus 100% on you.
This means that you love when someone shows you that they love you physically. Someone with this love language likes the physical affirmation and connection that comes with direct contact. For example, someone may hug you or hold your hand frequently, snuggle with you every time you are together, or be intimate with you.
4. Go to bed together
With how busy the day gets, for many couples, the only time they really have together with just the two of them is at night, when it’s time for bed. This means that going to bed at the same time and falling asleep together can be a good way to strengthen a relationship. You treat the minimum time you have with each other as sacred.
What if you are a night owl or your different schedules don’t match similar sleep times? You can lie in bed with your partner until he falls asleep or sit next to him. If all else fails, draw together at nap time!
Listening to music with the people around you can help increase your feelings of connection with them. This is because music has positive effects in some regions of the brain. Specifically, those involved with:
- Oxytocin (hormone of love to feel good)
Just spending half an hour with your partner, listening to the melodies that you both enjoy, can help make bonding easier and bring you closer together.
6. Thank each other to strengthen your relationship
Taking a partner for granted will not only harm a relationship. It will also make them feel like they don’t want them. Make sure both of you express your appreciation and gratitude for each other frequently to strengthen your relationship.
This doesn’t have to be just for great things, and thanks shouldn’t be reserved for great gestures. Express gratitude every time the other does a task, does something nice for you, or even shows what a great person you are overall. Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and showing your partner your appreciation will let them know that you love them.
7. Communicate clearly
The importance of communication in any relationship, romantic or not, cannot be overstated. It keeps the relationship healthy and gives you new insights on which to build your love. Here are some ways you should communicate in your relationship to strengthen it:
Make it regular
When you have to be apart most of the time, communicate regularly. Send us “hello” and ask how you’re doing, share a funny thing you saw online, or talk about a situation you were in. Regular communication it keeps you close, even when you are apart.
Ask, don’t assume
Making assumptions is a rigged game. You cannot read minds and your partner cannot know for sure what you want without listening to it. Get in the habit of asking for clarification without making assumptions. Your mind can play tricks on you and lead you to conclusions that don’t exist, especially in times of stress or difficulty.
Share your emotions
When you feel depressed, talk to your partner about it. Venting your feelings to an available partner brings them closer together, gives them insight into how you think, and reminds you that they are always there for you. It also shows that you trust your partner and value their hearing and, if you ask, their advice.
Ask how you can help
It’s great if you can take on the mental burden of knowing what to do and how you can help. But sometimes, you will see a partner overwhelmed and you will not be sure what to do. Ask how you can help them and go ahead to help them show you care.
Give compliments to strengthen your relationship
If you think your partner looks good, tell them. If you admire your responsibility, say so. Congratulating each other is a great way to remind you that you both still feel desirable, and it’s always good to make the other person feel loved with your words!
Check in frequently
From time to time, it can be helpful to sit down together and evaluate your relationship. Talk about good experiences, negative experiences, and things that you would like to work on in your relationship to move forward.
8. Do something scary together.
Novel and “scary” activities get your adrenaline pumping and send you on an exciting journey. When you do this with a partner, your senses are heightened and invigorated, often leading to a heightened romantic and sexual attraction.
This is also why people often form crash and burn relationships in volatile or dangerous circumstances. The difference is that you and your partner already have a loving and romantically attached foundation to your relationship, so these adrenaline-fueled feelings enhance your bond – they don’t make it volatile on its own!
You don’t need to do things at the fear factor level or expose yourself to things that really terrify you to the core to reap these benefits. Research shows that any new shared experience results in this positive bonding, sending sparks to fly! In the long run, you will also have great bonding moments that will bring you closer and give you good memories. You can:
- Get on a roller coaster or other exciting amusement park.
- Watch a horror movie or series.
- Practice bungee jumping or zip line.
- Play terrifying horror-themed video games
- Tell scary stories in a spooky atmosphere.
- Visit a haunted house.
9. Volunteer together for a cause
Volunteer work is good for your overall mental health, facilitating better positive thinking – but more importantly, it promotes the production of oxytocin, the love hormone! Essentially, it allows you to feel more connected to the people around you.
The act of volunteering or doing charity work with a partner allows both of you to see great sides of each other while naturally facilitating a closer bond. You will also feel more relaxed and less stressed, allowing you to feel more open to close moments of connection.
Relationships have their ups and downsBut the important thing is that they continue to work to strengthen each other and show each other how true their affection rings. Even if your relationship is perfectly happy right now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make sure to show your love and keep your bond healthy.