Are you a selfish partner or did you consider your spouse self-absorbed? Relationships are about give and take. A partnership is supposed to be 50/50, but what if one person puts in 80 percent of the effort and the other 20 percent?
When you enter a Long-term relationship, you want the best for the person you love. You put their needs ahead of yours and do everything you can to ensure their happiness. Unfortunately, not all relationships work this way, and some toxic people are immature, self-centered, and inconsiderate of the other person.
Is it any wonder people don’t want to walk down the marriage aisle these days? the the divorce rate as of 2020 is 34 percent. However, this number does not give a good representation of couples living together in long-term relationships and separations, which tends to be common these days.
People end their relationships for many reasons, including finances, communication problems, infidelity, lack of intimacy, and substance abuse. The problem with all these issues is that one party is not considering the other and their feelings. Save yourself a trip to court and think about the other person and their needs before your own.
Dealing with selfishness in a relationship
How do you know if you are a selfish partner Or living with someone so self-absorbed that you’re not even part of the equation? Here are some questions to ask yourself.
• Ask your partner what he wants to do this weekend, or do you plan the time according to your needs?
• Do you master everything from buying a new car to replacing the windows in your house without asking them?
• Do you squash all conversations or listen to what your partner has to say?
• Constantly criticizes their methods and always tries to show them that their way is better.
If any of these scenarios sound familiar, then there is a lot of work to be done. Here are seven traits you will find in a selfish partner that may sound familiar.
1. The other person is always wrong
There is nothing worse than knowing everything with personality. These are the people who are never wrong, no matter if they have proof to the contrary. They tend to be a little narcissistic in their thought process because they feel that their opinions are superior to those of others.
Everything is an argument with them, even down to the type of jelly you bought in the store. The problem is that this person is not a couple at all. They are only considering your needs, as well as your thoughts and opinions.
If you don’t listen and consider the other person’s thoughts, then why be in a relationship? When someone is never wrong, it is a big red flag that they are a selfish partner.
2. Plans are made that do not involve the other
Being left out is a horrible feeling that can lead to resentment and doubts about infidelity. Does your husband or wife make plans for things without consulting or inviting you? Perhaps you are the one who prefers to go out with your friends or family and leave your spouse behind.
While it’s okay to have nights where you hang out with your friends, most of your free time should be spent with your spouse. You wanted to be with this person because you love them and you can’t imagine spending a day without them. A healthy relationship it is based on spending quality time together.
3. They do not know the needs of their partner
Each person has wants and needs in their life. Maybe you want a better job, or you would like to trade that older car for a newer model. Maybe you have problems at work that make you miserable.
A good partner would know all about these issues and would do his or her best to take some of the pressure off you. However, a selfish partner is so disconnected from what is going on at home that they have no idea that you are suffering.
Nothing is worse than an adult man or woman who still acts like a little child. When a toddler can’t get the toy he wants to play with, he will throw a tantrum. Adults also have tantrums and are usually focused on leaving or threatening divorce.
A manipulative person They will only consider their needs, and if they don’t get what they want, they will use any possible way to make this happen. They will threaten that if you don’t give in, they will leave. They can go as far as printing the divorce papers online and delivering them to you.
Be careful with people who play these games with their emotions, as they only care about themselves. Do you want someone who threatens to leave you when you don’t give in to their requests?
5. They expect you to listen to them, but they don’t offer the same in return
Communication is a two-way street and it takes one person to speak and another to listen. Then there are times when the roles are reversed. Does your partner want you to hear him talk about his day and all the things that are wrong in his life, but doesn’t want to do the same in return?
One of the beautiful things about having someone who is “your person” is that you can share your frustrations, secrets and plans for the future. When something happens during the day, you can’t wait to call or text and talk to them. That’s what people in love do; they want to share their life with the person they adore.
However, the selfish partner will want you to listen to them as they vent, but they won’t have time to listen to your problems. Ineffective communication is a major obstacle between couples. It is just as important in a relationship as trust, honesty and monogamy.
6. They are too critical of everything
There is nothing worse than an overly critical person. It seems that nothing can be done to please them. Whether it’s complaints about dinner, your family, or friends, nothing makes you happy.
You may start walking on the eggshells around you for fear that a misstep could set them off. They can get aggressive or even loud when you hang out with friends they don’t like. They want your time when it’s convenient for them, but if you stop them from doing the things they want to do, then it’s a completely different story.
Someone who absolutely loves you with a pure love that is healthy and good would never make you walk on eggshells. There is no perfect union, but there should be more good than bad.
7. They retain privacy
Part of being with a partner is that they take care of each other’s needs both physically and emotionally. Now, there are times when one of the parties is not feeling well or is just not in the mood. That is quite different from retaining privacy because someone made you mad or you didn’t get away with it.
Some self-absorbed people use intimacy as a weapon against the other person. If you do something that angers them, they will hold a grudge and retain their services until you comply. Be careful because some people will use this as an excuse to have an affair and say that you pushed them to do it.
Always be on your guard when dealing with the selfish partner, as you constantly manipulate and use your emotions to your advantage.
Did you find any traits that you or your spouse have in the list above? Remember, neither partnership is perfect and you both have things you need to work on. The focus should be that you have a healthy connection that considers the other person’s needs before your own.
Now, toxic relationships aren’t fun to deal with, and there are a lot out there. Don’t be surprised if any of these behaviors follow verbal abuse. Also, some people can get so angry when they don’t get their way and resort to physical violence.
The good news is that if you are in a toxic relationship, you can date. You don’t have to live like this anymore. There are many people who will respect you and give you the kind of love and affection you need. You don’t have to suffer for a selfish partner who only thinks about themselves.
Life is too short to be miserable when you have the power to change your situation. Your only decision to walk away from a completely different life, and it may be the fairy tale you’ve dreamed of.