The end of a relationship is a challenging experience, and it is one that many will go through at least once in their lives. Coping with the loss of companionship and romantic affection can be painful, especially if it was a long relationship or one in which you shared a lot. Facing a breakup in an unhealthy way can make things worse and leave you stuck in the past.
So how can you handle these painful circumstances? Here are five positive ways to deal with a breakup so you can move on without feeling guilty.
1. Express your feelings
The first step to anyone’s recovery is the point where they begin to express and clearly express how they feel. Many people tend to hold back or hold back their emotions when it comes to a breakup, as there is a lot of pressure to be “okay” and better than their ex. But repressing your feelings can make them worse and higher, ruining your positive thinking.
There are many different feelings that you can experience in a breakup. You may be in shock or denial or cry and grieve. You may feel betrayal, pain, and humiliation. You may feel scared, angry, or indifferent. You may even experience acceptance, relief, and hope. Whatever you feel, acknowledge it, say it and express it. Grief and loss are complex things with many stages, and it is not unusual to experience them in stages that may seem confusing to you.
It’s natural to want to suppress your worst emotions, but dealing with them will allow you to better handle and cope with the breakup. Don’t judge yourself by how you feel. Observe your feelings, acknowledge them, accept them, and work on yourself as you go. It’s okay to feel bad, it’s it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to not be okay for a while. Let it be.
When a breakup is recent, everything around you will remind you of the person you left behind. This is why you need to disconnect from those memories as best you can to move on. That is how:
Get rid of the things that trigger memories
If you were dating your ex for a long time, chances are you have many elements that could trigger memories of them. Some of them can even be positive memories. But when you are recovering from the pain and emotions of a breakup, all those memories can cause pain. If any of these items make you want to get in touch with your ex or cause you emotional distress, remove them from your home. You can pack the items they left to send to them later and save or throw away the old gifts they gave you that move you. You don’t have to get rid of these items permanently if you don’t want to, just keep them out of sight, out of mind.
Stay away from social media
Don’t stalk your ex or look at posts from people in love. Don’t reread your old messages. Don’t scroll through the pages of the people your ex is interacting with. It is not healthy and it does not provide you with anything. You will need a few days away from social media, at least before it is safe to have an online presence again. If all else fails, lock or mute your ex on social media.
· Go to “No contact”.
Even the friendliest breakups require a little alone time. You need to collect your thoughts, recover, and let the strongest emotions lose some intensity before you’re ready to get closer again. If you’re still on good terms with them, set limits and communicate your need for space to your ex. If the break was unpleasant, you can also block and cut them.
Stop talking about them
It’s okay and even healthy to rant about the breakup and process it by talking to supportive friends and family. But what’s not okay is continually inserting your ex’s name or any hint of your previous relationship into the daily discussion. It can be tempting to bring them up when it’s not relevant. Do not do it.
3. make things about yourself
Relationships are about doing things together, and now that you’re alone, your life can get back to focusing on you. The world is your oyster! Doing everything about yourself can remind you of the wonders of independence, allowing you to embrace singleness with positive thoughts as you go. Here are some ways to do this:
Do the things you love
Even healthy relationships take time and energy. As such, it is likely that while you were with your ex, there were some things you were unable to do. You may not have had enough time for your hobbies. Maybe you left book club meetings for date nights. You may have stopped watching horror movies because they hated them. Perhaps you avoided eating one type of food because your partner is allergic. Regardless, now you’re not dating them anymore, you can do whatever you want! So go ahead and take care of all those things that you love and might not have been able to do during the relationship.
Do the things you have wanted to do
There may be things you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t been able to do yet. What better time than now? Trying new things, having new experiences, and completing your wish list is a great way to distract yourself while enriching your mind and body. It’s a healthy outing and helps your self-improvement, which is always a positive way to deal with breakups!
· Take care of yourself
People often think about going on a diet or hitting the gym harder after a breakup, but that’s not really “taking care of yourself.” The goal of taking care of yourself after a breakup is not to look sexy for the sake of your ex. It’s to feel good about yourself and nurture your body, so you feel better and more confident. So do things that make your body feel good. A little exercise, healthier food choices, and better self-care are all ways to do this.
If you were the person they broke up with, you might feel bad about yourself. Your self esteem may have taken a hit from the breakup. So focus on rebuilding it. Find the things about yourself that you love. Consider your strengths and build them yourself. Breaking up has nothing to do with your self-esteem and has everything to do with the overall health of the relationship and the change in the other person. So go overboard!
4. Seek support during the breakup
Social support is crucial in improving positive thinking, especially in times of stress. Isolating yourself and trying to do it only after a breakup will only hurt you. Also, outside perspectives can bring you crucial insights and information that you missed. Here are some ways to seek support:
Talk to your loved ones
Ask to vent to family and friends and seek advice if you wish. Look for the people you love who have gone through breakups and made a wonderful recovery. Get face-to-face contact with your trusted support system and have fun with the people who care about you the most!
· Making new friends
It’s tempting to jump into the next bounce relationship after a breakup. Instead of looking for new intimate partners, find new friends. Get away from the relationship market and find clubs, groups, and even online communities to make new friends. Join groups for people with your hobbies and interests, take a new class, and even volunteer at organizations to meet new people!
Get professional help if needed
If your breakup affects you significantly, don’t be ashamed of getting outside support from a therapist, counselor, or similar professional in this field. Opening up to someone who will not judge you and who is trained to help you can give you the tools you need to get through your breakup.
5. Remember why the breakup occurred
At some point, you will find yourself wishing the breakup never happened. When this inevitably happens to you, remember why it was necessary. Change is part of life and crucial to growth, so if your relationship wasn’t meant to be, it was for a reason. Here are some ways to remember the reason for the breakup:
Remember the struggles of the relationship
Relationships don’t end because they are “too good.” They end because there were problems and difficulties that eventually one or both parties decided were too much to continue. The struggles you faced are the ones you don’t want to go back to, so you can help yourself move on by remembering how they made you feel and how good it is to be free from those struggles. If you were specifically hurt in the relationship, like your ex repeatedly cheated on you, abused you, or lied to you, then remember all those toxic traits and behaviors that you are now free from.
Review memories realistically
Studies have found that positive feelings about experiences tend to linger longer than negative ones. This means that many of your memories with your ex may have a rosy hue to them. Think about your memories and be realistic about it. Was that summer vacation with them perfect, or did they find traveling together was more stressful than it should have been? Were they always very helpful when you went through a difficult time, or did you have to fight for their support and fight to make them understand why you needed it? Don’t color your memories falsely – remember reality and see your past with clear eyes.
Stand By The Choice
If you decided to break up with your ex, then defend the decision. You did it for a reason, and right now, emotions may be clouding your judgment and making you forget those reasons. And if they broke up with you, stay out of that too, even if they eventually run back to you. You have the right to move on in peace and you can’t if your ex is playing with your emotions. Stop doubting and start working on recovery.
Breakups are a universal experience, and yet they are painful to overcome. Learning how to deal with the end of a relationship in a positive way can help you move on without regret or guilt.