Are you attracting love? Relationships Positivity? Any form of good interactions with the world around you, whether in the form of romantic, platonic, or general senses? If so, you are not alone! Many people want to bring these things into their world.
But what if you’ve tried for a while and continually find yourself in dead ends? Why can’t you locate the things you want, and why does it keep attracting the opposite of your desires? The answer may be within.
Here are five things that keep you from attracting love and positivity.
1. Idealize others
It’s easy to wear pink glasses when you’re looking for positivity and attracting the love of others. But this is a dangerous game, as it blinds you to the negatives of the situations you find yourself in. How can you find true positivity and genuine love when you are injecting your images into places where it doesn’t exist? ? Here are some ways you can idealize others:
It’s nice to have standards, but no one is perfect. Love, whether romantic or not, implies acceptance and understanding of each other’s shortcomings. If you set out to seek perfection, you will bypass good people and attract liars and manipulators who pretend to match your wishes. You will also encounter a lot of negativity when you never find what you are looking for.
You create a fantasy
When you’re about to meet someone for a date or when you approach someone at the bar, it is a good idea to have positive thoughts. But it is a decidedly bad idea to create a fantasy about the person you are meeting, idealizing them to be the perfect partner with whom you can build a perfect relationship. Not only are you setting yourself up for disappointment and the risk of being caught off guard by red flags, but you will also intimidate would-be love interests who know that it is not possible to live up to that fantasy.
You are looking for someone you need
The path of the search for positivity and love should not come from a place bordering on despair. You should want to search for these things, but you shouldn’t feel like you need them. If you try to find people and things that fill the perceived “gaps” in yourself, you will become dependent on that person or thing to survive. This is a very toxic form of behavior and creates unhealthy relationships of codependency that undermine everything. positive things outside of a society.
2. Lack of self-love
Self-esteem and self love dictate the quality of your relationships, so if you want to be in a positive love situation, you need to give yourself the self love you deserve. Too often, people are looking for love at the same time that they are looking for someone to give them confidence, which is not a great way to do things. Here are some signs that you lack the self-esteem necessary to attract love and positivity:
You compare yourself with others
Being inspired by other people is fine, but constantly comparing yourself to those around you is a recipe for disaster that will remove positive thinking from your life. When you make these comparisons, you are comparing your inner knowing with the outer appearances of those around you. You don’t know their stories, what they are like, or what happens when no one is watching, which makes all comparisons completely useless and creates false narratives in your head that send you further into insecurity.
You belittle yourself
You cannot attract positivity if the things you openly say about yourself are negative. Being aware of your weaknesses is good, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly talk to yourself. Give yourself some credit! It will be difficult to attract people who will respect and love you as you are when you don’t respect yourself.
You think you are not worthy
A viral quote from the book (and movie) “The advantages of being a wild flower“It is” we accept the love we think we deserve. “In other words, if you think you are unlovable, you are unlikely to accept the genuine positivity and affection of others in any relationship. This insecurity makes you choose. people who are not good for you or a partner in general, and puts you in adverse situations.
Have you heard of the concept of abandoning the self? It is a set of behaviors that eliminates positive things in your world, facilitating more suffering. Usually the onset of such abandonment is somewhat traumatic or difficult to process, and when you continue to leave yourself abandoned, you end up perpetuating your pain.
Self-abandonment means detaching from your inner truth, and it’s easy to guess why this can prevent you from attracting love and positivity. Here are some ways you may be giving up without realizing it:
You judge yourself
Everyone has made mistakes, and the goal is to learn from them, apologize when necessary, and move on more wisely and solidly. If you’ve been judging You take responsibility for the things you have to put aside yourself, and that attracts negativity.
You ignore how you feel
Your emotions exist for a reason. Even if they are not all rational, they are a reflection of the things that bother you, the problems that remain, and sometimes they are absolutely right about how you should feel. But regardless of whether or not these feelings have a basis in reality, they all have a basis in you. Ignoring them and suppressing them only makes them stronger. What you should do instead is pay attention to them, find their true roots, and work on the problems that cause them. The further you push them away, the worse they will hurt you and push away any positivity.
You make others responsible for you
You are responsible for your actions. When you start to detach from that reality, you can expect other people to get over it and help you clean up your mess. The further you withdraw from yourself, the less responsibility you want to take on and the more red flags block you from attractive love and positivity.
4. Unmanaged personal problems
The fact is that many times, if you do not attract happiness, positive things or love, it is because there are things that you must work and address in yourself or in your life before you can bring positivity. If you don’t handle these issues, you risk simply never learning from your past. Here are some ways you can have unmanaged personal problems:
He has not admitted his mistakes
As already mentioned, mistakes they are part of life, and everyone does. If you know that you have done wrong in the past but have never admitted it to yourself, you will not be able to work on the flaws you have that created the wrong. This is a great red flag for those who would have otherwise brought positivity and love into your life, and will steer clear of being their next target.
You have unattended luggage
We all have some baggage in life, but we all need to work on these things to keep moving forward and start receiving new and good things. If you’re not addressing the baggage you have, you risk ruining potential relationship attempts of any kind, and it will certainly perpetuate cycles of negativity.
You don’t see your patterns
Have you ever noticed that people tend to repeat the same patterns over and over again, especially when it comes to relationships? It almost looks like self-sabotage. The fact is, you may have developed unhealthy patterns when it comes to love, remnants of attachment styles that you developed in your early childhood. If your relationship with your caregivers was difficult or negative, or if you were unsure in childhood, you should be aware that the trauma from then can continue to affect you to this day. It is not that you are not attracting love, it is that you are actively seeking to recreate those familiar childhood patterns.
5. Lack of openness
To form positive relationships and find love, romantic or not, you must be open to it. Being closed means that others don’t feel like they can bond with you, and they may even think that you don’t want them around. This can sabotage budding relationships before they even start. Here are some ways you can show a lack of openness:
You are emotionally closed
Emotional unavailability is a massive detour for many people. It reeks of unresolved personal problems and shows that you are unprepared to build relationships with others. In fact, you may even start to attract closed people in a similar way, bringing new sources of negativity into your life.
You act in an inauthentic way
Everyone puts on a bit of a mask around strangers, on first dates and in situations where there are certain social norms. But if you actively behave in a way that is not true of you when seeking love and positivity, you are creating a false facade to make others like you. No one will ever get to know their true self, and as you adapt your personality to each new person, your integrity erodes and it becomes increasingly difficult to know where the facade ends and begins. If you want to attract genuine and true love of any kind, dare to be yourself.
You are not opening your heart, preventing you from attracting love
Sometimes the desire to find “love” in any form is overwhelming, as society demands it of you. But that doesn’t mean you’re really ready for it. If you don’t want to open your heart in the true sense of the word, you can’t be vulnerable or genuine with others. It’s reasonable to be wary of pain and being hurt, but ultimately too strong a focus on that can hurt your chances of finding positivity and love in the long run.
Final thoughts on some things that keep you from attracting love and positivity
If you want attract positivity and the love in your life, you must give your best, no matter what kind. Working on yourself, developing your strengths, and being happy with who you are first is one of the most guaranteed ways to ensure that your life will be filled with that much-desired positivity.