A good friendship is to treasure. They lift each other up, support each other when down, and are there for each other through thick and thin. They have fun together, create memories together, and share a strong and powerful bond.
But every now and then, there’s a friendship that doesn’t fit that bill, where you give more than you get, if you get anything at all. Here are 3 behaviors that reveal a one-sided friendship and how to let them go if you’re in one.
3 behaviors that reveal a one-sided friendship
Do you feel that your relationship is not so friendly these days? Be careful with these behaviors.
Have you ever met a friend and then felt really frazzled or exhausted? It is difficult to understand why. For one thing, if you’re an introvert, it could be the general social interaction that could be exhausting. But pay special attention to how you feel: are you more exhausted? More tired than usual?
It’s hard to admit that someone makes you feel drained every time you spend time with them. These types of people are often not reciprocating friendship, leaving it one-sided. This makes you feel tired around you, which could be because:
- You have to be the one who tries harder and puts more energy into interactions and conversations.
- They tend to be very damaging, lowering your mood, and emotionally draining you in the process.
- You feel scrutinized by them and often have to defend yourself from invalidation, being treated as inferior, or feeling insulted.
- They are toxic and you feel drained from handling the toxicity.
Anyone can do that feel exhaustedSo if someone makes you feel that way, take a step back and think about it. It would be better if you didn’t spend too much time with people who make you feel worse than yourself before spending time with them. Sure, conflict comes up with everyone from time to time, but it shouldn’t be a constant thing. Try to reduce the time you spend with them and monitor how you feel. If you feel better without them, it might be time to quit.
2. You can’t trust them
In fact, not everyone can be there for you all the time. All the people in your life have their own limits and personal lives. But a true friend is one that you can count on and who you can trust at least most of the time, and they will go out of their way to be there for you and help you when you really need it.
In a one-sided friendship, you can never count on the other person. You may feel lonely, isolated, or ignored. Might:
- Do much more for them than they do for you.
- I feel like they are hypocrites as they expect a lot from you but never give in return.
- Skip important events
- Not receiving responses to messages or letting your calls be ignored.
- Stay alone after your plans are forgotten or canceled over and over again.
- Be on the receiving end of frustration or annoyance whenever you ask for help.
- Please share your personal information, secrets or feelings with others.
3. The emotional use of you
A fake friend with whom you are stuck in a one-sided friendship will take advantage of your emotional work. They can behave as if you have to listen to all their problems while they vent to you, even when you are not in the right space for it.
Worse still, this so-called friend can accuse you of being a horrible person if you don’t drop everything to be emotionally available to him. This is difficult to pin down because it is a form of abuse that is subtle – they don’t beat you, steal from you, or actively treat you like trash, but instead make you feel guilty and manipulate you into accepting their demands. Not cool! Here are some signs that you are being used emotionally in a one-sided friendship:
They run to you for any crisis
Whenever this friend of yours faces an adverse event, he runs to you for help and asks for your help. But when it comes time to request their service, they are never there. They expect you to drop everything for their problems, but they wouldn’t do the same for you.
You know so much about them that it weighs on you
You know everything about this friend of yours, and although that’s not a bad thing in itself, it turns negative if they don’t remember anything about you. You are often expected to keep track of everything you’ve been told, but they won’t remember your birthday, that you don’t like tea, or even how to spell your name.
You get used to being a therapist or a punching bag
Are you the only one doing some emotional work on your friendship? It’s great to vent to your friends, but they shouldn’t be responsible for managing your emotions, providing solutions, or advising you. It’s nice when friends can do that, but they’re not your therapists. In a one-sided friendship, you may feel treated as such, sometimes to the point of mental or emotional exhaustion on your part.
How to let go of a one-sided friendship
1. Create your own closure
Many people view closure as a lofty goal that will ultimately give them peace of mind. While seeking closure is a valid way to bounce back from difficult experiences and let go of bad friendships, it doesn’t have to be done in the elegant, cinematic way we tend to argue.
You don’t need anyone to shut you down more than yourself if you want to let something go. You can find positive thinking through self-made closure. You’ll find ways to find that neat ending to the chapter you’re looking for with a little creativity. Here are some ways to do it:
Create a scrapbook
Remember the good times by gathering photos and other memories that you have collected during the years of your friendship. Then once the scrapbook is ready, go over it one last time before putting it away, long term.
· Write a letter
Express all of your feelings for your friend, including how they have hurt you, how much they mean to you, and how terrible you feel now that it’s over. Do not send the letter. (If you want to send the letter, stick to positive topics.)
Design something symbolic
Create some “ritual” items that you can use as a symbolic way of letting go of friendship. You can throw away a gift your friend gave you, say a prayer of gratitude and deliverance, or do whatever else seems appropriate.
Keep a journal
No one will read your journalMe, so that no one can judge what you write. So write everything down: all the pain, the complicated feelings, even the selfish moments that you feel. Express yourself freely and observe everything that comes to mind. You can choose to look back at previous entries and reflect later, or close the journal and not return to it when you are done.
When a friendship has hurt you, it’s easy to feel bitter about close relationships. You may have trouble trusting others and be tempted to withdraw. Don’t let this happen. You must remember and appreciate the positive friendships and relationships you still have if you want to let go of the old one. Here are some tips to do so:
Spend time with people who love you
Get together with those who care about you and who matter to you. Remember that you are still loved and that good relationships still exist.
Talk to people you trust
As you work to let go of this old friendship, look to the people you still have and want to hold onto for support. They can help you on your way to recovery.
Express gratitude for the support you receive
Appreciate the people in your life who are helpful to you and with whom you have good relationships. Don’t let the negativity of a bad friendship erase all the lovely, unique, and positive people in your life.
3. Remember your value
Self-esteem can take a big hit when you realize you were in a one-sided friendship. It can really feel horrible to be in a situation like that, and it’s hard to break out of negative thought patterns. This only makes it harder to let go, so you have to remind yourself that this one friendship does not define you. Here are some ways to get carried away remembering what you are worth:
Don’t take it personally
It’s easy to blame yourself if you were the victim of a one-sided friendship. It was you very boring? Too annoying? Is it not worthy of your respect? The answer is that it was never your fault. People who are willing to take advantage of others happily don’t care about who you are. It was not your fault that you were taken advantage of, and it is not reflected in your character or personality. Remember it.
· Set limits
The one-sided friendship you escaped from may have given you a fresh perspective on healthy boundaries, so stick with them. You are worthy of space, respect and your own limits. Think and reflect on the areas where your edges wear down and reinforce them. This will ensure that your relationships remain positive, especially as you work to get rid of the negatives.
Create new and happy memories
Your mind is now clouded with all the old memories you have with that one-sided friend. Discarding them is not necessary, as they are lessons. Instead, fill your memory banks with positive thoughts searching for new memories. Please create your own happiness and overwrite the negativity they injected into your life by building memories with yourself and with others.
Friendships are meant to be mutually beneficial. While there are times when a friend is on a losing streak and needs more support than the other, the rule should be balanced and healthy relationship. If you have a one-sided friendship, know that you deserve better and address the issue. Don’t be afraid to eliminate a toxic friend from your life; You’ll be better for it!