As a parent, you want to love and protect your child from getting hurt. However, it can go too far. Maybe your parents were very strict and you had little room to breathe. But is your child too protected?
Helicopter breeding it has become a common term used to describe someone who is authoritarian or who is obsessively interested in the life of their child. Does he fit the definition of a helicopter parent, or perhaps, your parents could fall into this category? Did you know that much of your parenting style is determined by how your parents raised you?
According to AleteiaYou are expected to want to avoid making the same mistakes your parents made with you, but history has a way of repeating itself. If a child is too protected, it can cause as much trouble as if you let him run wild.
15 signs that a child is too protected
How would you describe your parenting style? Do you feel like you are overprotecting your child to the point of suffocating him? Here are some signs that a child is overly protected and you may need to give them some breathing room.
1. A child who is too protected has a curfew too early
The curfew must be based on age. If a child is 16 years old, it would be acceptable for him to be home between 7 and 8 pm. However, if you have your child home at 5 PM, they may become a source of teasing and resentment towards you.
One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to let go of the child, and you can start with giving them a decent curfew for their age.
2. They have become an expert liar
Now, not all children who lie are being protected, but if your child suddenly starts lying, it could mean that your reign over them is too strict. When children feel like they don’t have room to breathe, they may start lying to get away from you. Your child’s trip to the library to study can be an excuse to go to a friend’s house.
The reason they lie to you is that they know you won’t let them do what they want. Even if there is nothing wrong with their plans, they know that you will not be on board. Stanford University warns that if your child must lie to you in order to have a social life, then it is a sign that he is too strict. In fact, they are too protected.
3. Parents overreact to the point of embarrassment
Is anyone so worried about their child that they are embarrassed? If a teacher gave your child a grade that they did not feel deserved, they would send an email or phone call to clarify it. Sadly, a child is often ashamed of dominant forms.
4. The “psycho call” if the whereabouts are unknown
You need to know where your child is every minute of the day, and you will call him psychologically until they tell you all the details. When your child goes out with friends, it’s okay to check in maybe once, but if their fears make you call every half hour, then you’re stifling their social life.
5. Slumber parties can only be at home
Are you so strict that you don’t let them go to anyone else’s house for a sleepover? Slumber parties are fine if they are at your house. How can a child experience diversity and learn how other people live if he does not lose sight of them?
Sure, it’s okay to be a little cautious in today’s society, but talk to parents and familiarize yourself with their home before saying no.
6. Extreme parental controls are in place on the Internet
There is a fine line between being vigilant and controlling. When a child is under a certain age, it is perfectly normal to have restrictions on the use of the Internet. However, once they get old, you don’t need all the passwords for their social media accounts and it monitors their every move.
7. TV shows are limited to benign cartoons
There is a lot of violence and material that is not appropriate for children on television. However, with age you get more privileges in viewing rights. If everything your child tries to watch is evil, tacky, or sloppy comedy that he doesn’t like, he may be resentful of you.
Children and adults have quite different viewing preferences, and if the content is not very violent or sexually inappropriate, let them explore their interests.
8. The child is super rebellious
Children who feel that their parents are too harsh on them will be rebellious. They may begin to protest your authority to have a life. Don’t lower your child to these levels to be a normal child.
The Journal of Anxiety Disorders agrees that negative behaviors are the result of overprotective parents.
You may feel like no one is good enough to play with your child. However, if the child is not leading you down the path of promiscuity or drugs, let him feel free to explore the kinds of friends he likes. You can’t always choose your kid’s friends, but that doesn’t mean you like them either.
10. Phone calls to friends are logged
Sure, all these new smartphone apps these days are great, but if you use them to spy on your kids then it’s too much. If you have phone call recorders and keystroke monitoring devices on your phones, you are going too far.
11. Driving is not allowed until 18 years of age (or older)
Most teens are very excited to be able to drive. However, some parents do not allow their children to drive because they do not want to let them go. Your fears of a car accident or riding a bike and killing someone override your reason for being.
Your child needs a driver’s license to live. Don’t withhold them unless you have a good reason.
12. Self-expression is a no no
You dictate the clothes they wear, how they comb their hair, and other forms of personal expression. Your child needs to feel free to express himself as he grows and matures. Keep in mind that hair, makeup, and clothing are benign forms of expression, but if you don’t allow them these options, they will move on to more important things.
13. Home is more of a prison cell
Your home should be a safe place where your child feels loved and cared for, and it should also have a voice. Please don’t make your house a prison who hate being there. If your home is referred to as a prison, you need to make some changes to your helicopter parenting methods.
14. The child is constantly worried about getting into trouble
Is your child afraid to come home or be around you because he doesn’t want to get into trouble? If you are too strict with your child, they may fear being in your presence; It is not that they have done anything wrong; it’s just that you’re so strict that they fear that anything they say can and will be used against them.
This is not a child’s way of life. They need to have open communication and to be able to talk to their parents about their thoughts and feelings without being punished. Someday you will be grateful for having an open and honest relationship.
15. They don’t make plans for fear that a parent will say no
Are you infringing on your child’s social life? They may be afraid to ask to go to a birthday party for fear that a parent will not want to give them independence. If you are a helicopter parent, then according to National Institute of Health, your dominant nature can dictate your decision-making skills.
While they may need to check with you for a ride and to make sure you don’t have anything else planned for that weekend, give your child a chance to start making their own schedule, especially if they are a teenager.
Finding the right balance between being a good parent and not being overly bossy is challenging. Your child needs you to be by his side. As they grow and mature, you take on the role of a friend rather than a ruler.
If you don’t allow your child the space he needs to grow and become an adult, you can cause real problems for him later on. A child who is overly protected may struggle with social situations, avoid getting a job until later in life, or may feel like they can’t go to college.
How many times have you seen or heard someone talk about a “mama’s boy” or a boy who is “under the skirt”? These are all indications of an authoritarian parent, and the child has learned to trust them for everything. It is okay to let your child go a little more each year, and you should use positive parenting techniques.
Remember the old saying that if you love something, you should set it free? Well, when it comes to your child, this saying is true. Your children need to have some freedoms or they will feel that their childhood was a prison sentence and you are the principal.