Is anybody trying gaslight you? The phrase comes from a play made in 1938 by Patrick Hamilton. The theme of this thriller was that a man tried to make his wife doubt her sanity so she could be committed to an asylum.
Once his wife was safely locked up, he could get away with it. Look, he murdered a woman earlier and took her beloved jewelry. He wanted to find and preserve these precious stones, but he needed his wife to go out of his way to get her hands on this wealth.
During the film’s era, the 19th century, gas lights were used to illuminate both buildings and streets. So these people didn’t just flip a switch to turn on the lights. The male character made his wife doubt her sanity, and was able to weaken her view of herself and the world around her by playing cruel tricks.
He falsely portrays the victim of his madness and eventually the lady can no longer trust his judgment. The play got its name from the event that happened every night as part of its master plan. When the lady entered her room, the light in her room was dimmed.
This phenomenon happened with old style lights when someone else turned on another light in the house. Although she thought there was another presence with her, or she was going crazy; secretly, it was her husband and his tricks.
Either he or a member of the household staff would manipulate the lights to make him think he was losing his mind. The deceptions caused by her husband are quite manipulative, but in the end, she is saved by a kind stranger who realized what was going on.
So while gaslighting has recently become a common psychological slogan, is a problem that has existed for a long time. In fact, men and women have used manipulative tactics to promote their agenda, which is commonly seen in the narcissistic personality.
Fifteen signs they’re lighting you up with gas
Times have certainly changed since this play hit theaters in the 1940s. Now, there are no nursing homes and people have gotten smarter in manipulative relationships. Since the famous play, the medical community has dubbed the term gaslight syndrome.
However, some people are attracted to abusive relationships more than others. Here are some signs that it could be a gaslighting victim.
1. You feel stressed or threatened
A relationship should make you feel better and at ease. If you think you are stressed just by being in the presence of this person, or if they make you feel threatened, then something is not right.
2. You feel confused
When you are with your partner, you often feel confused and cannot remember things correctly. They may continually have to correct you and clarify details that you have supposedly forgotten.
3. You apologize when it’s not your fault
Do you always find yourself apologizing to your partner? Guilt is one of the most powerful forms of control, and if you feel the need to ask for forgiveness often, it is a sign that something is wrong.
4. You’re second guessing your sanity
Do you have moments when you think you are going crazy? Did these feelings start shortly after you started dating your current partner? While your partner may not be looking for jewelry, they may be using you for a part of their main plot.
5. You must constantly defend yourself against ridiculous accusations
Have you ever heard the saying that when you point a finger at someone else, four more are pointing at you? When someone is anxious to blame you for something, it is usually because they have something to hide.
A classic case is that a man who is having an affair often accuses his girlfriend / wife of cheating, and this is a way to alleviate his guilt by making the other person appear guilty.
6. You start to lie because you live in fear
Are you afraid and do you feel like you need to lie to protect yourself or your relationship? Do people tell you things about your partner that are difficult for you to understand? If you must lie to you or about your relationship or events, you must run backwards.
7. You have lost all confidence in yourself
One sign that gaslighting is occurring is that a person will begin to lose the self-confidence that they once had. If you had a personality that you could face the world with and now you find yourself isolated and crying a lot, then you need to reevaluate your life. Something has changed significantly and it could have a lot to do with your toxic relationship.
Do you have a feeling that something is not right, but can’t point it out? You were born with an intuitive side that helps protect you from danger. Trust this instinct because it may be what saves your life.
9. Second guess your memories
Are your memories getting hard to remember? Does your partner continually correct you about times, places, dates, and events? It could be a sign that someone with ulterior motives is manipulating you.
If you’ve never had a problem remembering events before, it’s a sign that something is wrong. Now of course you could be under a great deal of stress or have something medically wrong that could cause this. However, if all the medical evidence is clear, then it is a sign that you need to dig a little deeper into your relationship.
10. They tell you that you are overly sensitive or jealous
One way a manipulator will try to control you is making you think that you are the problem. If they always tell you that you are a jealous person or that you are overly sensitive, then there is reason to guess that accusation. If you are not generally sensitive or jealous, why would you suddenly become so?
11. They tell you that you are too demanding
Is it made you feel that whatever request or thing you want from the relationship is out of the question? Another tactic to override your feelings or needs is to say that you are demanding too much. A ratio is 50/50 and requires both parties to put 100 percent into it.
12. You constantly feel sad, isolated, helpless, hopeless, misread
Has your entire mood changed since you started dating this new person? Do you feel depressed, sad and crying a lot, and even helpless in many situations in your life? If these feelings seemed to arise suddenly, you should question the circumstances of your life.
Depression can be circumstantial rather than a chemical imbalance, so you need to make sure it’s not your current relationship that is putting you down.
13. You no longer trust your judgment
Perhaps you have always had impeccable taste and have been able to make good decisions. However, through a series of events, it seems that you no longer trust your judgment. You feel like all your thumbs and everything you touch turns to garbage. Is there a brain behind the scenes working to make you doubt yourself?
14. You don’t know who you are anymore
When some people are subjected to severe manipulation, they can lose their sense of themselves. They can look in the mirror and not even know who they are. A relationship should change you for the better and not for the worse. If you feel a loss of yourself, then it is something to evaluate.
15. You are always blamed for everything that happens
Lastly, an important sign that you are in a manipulative relationship is that you are always the scapegoat. No matter what happens in life, you are always to blame. If the dog has an accident in the house, it will somehow roll over and it will be your fault.
You walk with the weight of the world on your shoulders because you feel like you’re not doing anything right. You can’t cook well, you don’t dress well enough, and your life has turned into a heap of disappointments.
While the term comes from an old movie set in the 1930s, manipulative partners have been a problem since the world began. While men tend to be the ones who are often seen as selfish and controlling, women can get it right too.
Someone who has the power to manipulate you into questioning your memory, perception, and sanity has too much control over your life. Will a kind stranger save you from this? toxic relationship like in the movie, or will you have the power to send them packing?
Too many men and women want to have good, healthy relationships, and they will be with you for all the right reasons. You don’t need to mess around with someone who uses you to promote their agenda and does everything in their power to destroy who you are as a person. Love yourself enough to say goodbye.