The foundation of all good relationships is trust. Without it, you won’t have a healthy connection and it can cause you great pain in the future. While you know it’s essential, few know the steps you need to take to build trust.
Also, what do you do when you need to rebuild trust once it has been broken? There is nothing as exciting as a new relationship. Everything seems beautiful at first when they are fascinated with each other.
However, as things progress, you will learn that you must have a solid foundation to support yourself. What constitutes this secure base, you ask? Well, you must have honesty, trust, faithfulness, kindness, understanding and support.
Do you remember the story of the three little pigs? The first pig built his house out of straw and the second pig built his house out of twigs. By all accounts, they took the lazy road on the construction project. However, it was the third little pig who took his time.
He used brick and built a solid house with a good foundation. As the story goes, when the big bad wolf came huffing and puffing to tear down their houses, he couldn’t destroy the brick-built one. Your relationship will go through ups and downs, and there will be parallel situations to the big bad wolf.
The things that come to destroy you will not do it because if you take the time and build a solid and good foundation, your relationship will be firm.
Twelve effective ways to build trust
You have met the person of your dreams and you think this could be the person you will love forever. So you want to make sure you have that foundation that will stand the test of time, but you’re not sure what to do. Start by building trust.
Here are some simple ways that you can cultivate a trusting relationship with each other.
1. Never keep secrets
Secrets will destroy any relationship. This does not mean that you should tell your partner everything you know; it just means that you need to keep them informed about the important things. Even if you think it is something that will make them angry, you need to remember that they will get even more angry when they find out that you lied or hid something.
2. Always do what you say
Another essential part of trust is doing what you say you will do. If you tell your spouse that you will be home after a night out with your friends at 11pm, then you should be home by that time. If something happens that causes you to miss your deadline, you should remember to call as a courtesy.
You want your partner to know that they can trust you to do what you say you will do without hesitation. This helps establish a good relationship with each other.
3. Tell the truth
There is nothing worse than a liar. Even if you feel that telling a little white lie is justified, you need to remember that a half-truth is still a complete lie. When you tell a story that is not true, you must tell many more to cover the original.
Sadly, your lies will snowball until even you can’t keep up with all of them, and you may find that you tell the story so well that you believe it. Lying is a way to destroy trust and it doesn’t help build it. If your partner is always questioning what you say to see if it is truthful, then it is not a type of relationship.
4. Learn to communicate
It would be helpful if you talked about things every day: the good things, the bad things, and even the very personal and scary things. Communication is the key to keeping your union together. You want to make sure that your partner is not only your lover, but also your friend.
How well do relationships work when you barely talk? Everyone has those friends who only come in and out of your life when you need them. They can sleep next to each other and not even know what happened in their life that day.
If you want to build trust, you must share your life with this person. This means you have to talk about the challenging stuff and let them know how your day was at work.
5. Respect your principles
You have probably been told that if you didn’t represent something, you would fall in love with anything. Your partner will admire your principles and the position you take on the things you believe in. Taking a position means you don’t give in no matter how many times you are asked.
For example, if your partner smokes cigarettes but you have opposed tobacco products, you will not be persuaded to have a partner smoke with him in a weak moment. When you have firm beliefs and principles, you are like a tree planted by the waters that cannot move. He or she will admire you for these qualities because if you are like that with a principle, you will be like that with most or all.
6. Be there when they need you
There is nothing worse than a one-sided relationship. If you expect your partner to be there when you need it, then you must be willing to do the same in return. Toxic and self-absorbed people often have one-sided relationships.
According to the National Library of MedicineNarcissists are not usually good with relationships. They want to use people to their advantage, which is why relationships often struggle. If you see any signs that someone has these toxic tendencies, it’s time to move on.
Choosing someone for your partner requires you to tear down all the walls you have built and be vulnerable. This person will see you at your best and worst, and will love you regardless. Assume that you were hurt a lot in a previous relationship and you are afraid to trust.
Every time this person is not home when he says he will be, your mind automatically thinks he is cheating. Instead of blaming them, you should sit down and tell them why you feel this way. Sure, it is painful to open the past and let them see your wounds, but it is what will help you heal.
8. Define limits
Everyone has limits, even in a relationship. Your partner must know in advance your limits and why. It would be better if you never wait until they come across one of them and annoy you before saying anything.
There’s nothing wrong with clearly defined boundaries up front, and it’s healthy to start on the same page.
9. Show respect
There will be times when you will be so angry that you will want to call them all the names in the book. However, because you love them and don’t want to say things in the heat of the moment, you must show respect. Respect can mean many things, but you understand that no matter how upset you are with each other, you will not cross that line to be disrespectful.
10. Take care of your needs
When you are in love with someone, part of building trust means that you put their needs above your own. Sure, you may need to cancel a night out with friends, or you may need to take a day off to help them out when they’re sick.
However, they learn that you will be there for them when they need you most, even if it means you have to rearrange your schedule to accommodate.
11. Be consistent
Consistency is difficult for some people. Relationships can get pretty monotonous. You will feel like you are doing the same thing over and over again.
However, it is consistency that forms a bond because the other person knows that they can depend on you. A tough person who is mature enough to stick around when things get a little boring is someone you can trust.
12. Stay faithful
It’s hard to stay true when things go wrong. If you’ve decided to be exclusive, you need to make sure that you can meet that commitment. Being together means that you won’t let your eyes wander, and this also includes the internet.
It’s easy to have an affair these days, but if you want to build trust and not break it, then you will. stay true.
Everyone has problems and many people have trouble trusting others. However, you cannot allow the difficulties of other relationships to carry over into your current society, as it is not fair. The National Institute of Health states that all relationships go from good to bad, and trust is a key factor.
Having good communication, staying true, showing your vulnerable side, and doing what you say you will do will help you build a strong foundation. Remember it James Halliwell-Phillipps‘lullaby about the three little pigs, be like the smart little pig who took the time to build his house right.
The foundation of your relationship is everything. If you start by strengthening the core, then it can stand the test of time.