Are you toying with the idea of staying friends with your ex?
Isn’t it ironic how fast Long-term relationship can it pass to the past tense? So both are marked with the dreaded ex- prefix. Even if you have separated as a couple, staying friends with your ex can be of mutual benefit.
Twelve reasons to remain friends when you break up
They say breaking up is hard to do, but not all parties on bad terms. Sometimes things don’t work out. Other times, they both realize that they are better friends than lovers. Here are several reasons why maintaining a friendship is essential even after the relationship ends.
One of the most challenging things about a breakup is that you have invested so much time and love in each other. The longer you’ve been with your ex, the more remarkable moments you’ll remember. Even in a tumultuous relationship, some heartfelt memories may resurface.
Staying friendly with your ex means you can remember together without guilt. You must realize that there was a time when you were in love and that made you better people. After an amicable breakup, neither of you will spend time destroying images or other memories of your past life as a couple.
2. When children are involved
When parents in a committed relationship break up or divorce, it can be especially devastating for children. A study published by the Linacre Quarterly states that the divorce of parents can be detrimental to the physical and mental health of their children. They will develop a feeling of deep loss, especially when they are away from the non-custodial parent.
However, you, your partner, and your children will suffer if you try to stay together “for the sake of the children.” Children are more intuitive than most adults think and instinctively feel the barrier between their parents. If the fake relationship continues, it will eventually fall apart and everyone could get even more hurt.
If it’s time to quit, that’s the best decision for everyone involved. Breakups and divorce are still painful losses, but doing them in a civil way can ease some of the pain. If staying friends with your ex is asking too much, be an adult and try to be polite to children.
3. You know the skeletons in other people’s closet
Using an ex’s dirt to blackmail is the classic plot of most exes. If you had an amicable separation with your partner, you would expect them to be above such betrayal. You are also a better person than crouching so low.
However, it is better to err on the side of caution and keep the past buried. Of course, this does not include any criminal acts or abuse. It is simply a matter of keeping confidential about embarrassing moments or information that neither of you would want publicized.
They’ve seen each other at their best and worst, so staying friends can be a good idea. It doesn’t mean they’re going to be best friends. They will be respectful to each other and will only speak positive things or nothing at all.
4. You have a long history of friendship
Did you fall in love with your high school sweetheart or someone from a loving family? Maybe they were best friends long before they noticed a romantic spark. Should you discard years of friendship and memories because you weren’t meant to be a couple?
Unless the relationship was toxic and abusive, there is nothing wrong with remaining friends. For some couples who separate or divorce, the word “friends” makes them feel uncomfortable. However, it is acceptable and even encouraged for those who still feel a positive connection from the past.
What about your mutual friends? The worst thing either of them could do is force these friends to choose sides. Not only does it put them in an awkward position, but they all lose in the end. By maintaining a friendly relationship, your mutual friends will continue to feel comfortable in social situations.
5. They support each other
Just because you can no longer be a couple does not mean that you hate each other. Many people have a deeper and more positive relationship when they are platonic. Staying friends means that even if they are not lovers, they still care about their best interests.
In an emergency or desperate time, they would be “there” for each other. They both take care of each other and don’t talk bad behind their backs. Even when you are dating different people, you can both count on each other.
6. They still understand each other
Other than physical attractionOne thing that brought them together in the first place was mutual understanding. After those countless dating conversations and whispered pillow talk late into the night, they “catch” each other. They are as patient and tolerant of your quirks as you are of theirs.
Who else would understand how much you hate tomatoes but can’t eat French fries without ranch dressing? Maybe you still sleep with a fan because they could do without one. They both know what makes the other tick, and the remaining friends won’t change that.
Some couples break up because the relationship is no longer working for them. However, mistakes and other painful situations can tear people apart. Neither of you benefits from holding a grudge.
If you lose yourself in the bitterness of a past relationship, you pay the most. An article published by the Mayo Clinic It says holding a grudge can undermine you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You may feel justified in forging each bond of bitterness, but they eventually become shackles that bind you of future happiness.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It does not excuse or erase the hurts of the past. But when you forgive each other and move on, you will be free from the burden of resentment. Staying as friends may not be an option, but you can still maintain a civilized relationship.
8. No more hiding in public
After you’ve experienced a breakup or divorce, your anxiety levels may peak when you start seeing other people again. Not only do you feel uncomfortable because your ex is seeing you, but you can also see it with someone else. These are normal feelings, but you cannot allow them to impede your healing and future relationships.
The first step in moving forward is realizing that you are both free to see other people. Of course, at first it will be a bit confusing and hurtful. Neither of you will feel the need to hide out being friends if you see another lover.
9. It can help future relationships
Have you ever had an exit interview? When you quit and accept another job, many companies request these interviews to understand your views. Sheds light on what could have gone wrong and how they can be better employers for their employees.
Perhaps you and your ex have had long conversations about what didn’t work out in your relationship. Instead of playing the blame game, they may have mutually decided to go their separate ways. However, these conversations helped him see his shortcomings and the things he needs to change for future relationships.
10. They both feel like they haven’t wasted time
If your broken relationship was abusive and toxic, you could still be proud to be a strong survivor. When your breakup or divorce was amicable, neither of you will feel that your love was useless. In addition, you will feel that you have gained valuable insight and emotional maturity.
Also, they both risk their hearts for love. In Alfred Lord Tennyson’s immortal advice, it is better to have loved and lost than to never love. It’s his way of saying that love is worth it and that you won’t live with the “what ifs” of undone love.
11. Some bridges are not meant to be burned
Staying friends with your ex doesn’t mean that you text and see each other every day like in the past. You probably don’t have your photos together hanging on the wall or on your social media pages. However, you can keep in touch occasionally when needed.
During your relationship, you probably created close relationships with each other’s family and friends. You may have broken up or divorced your ex, but you still have these people you love. Who knows when their paths will cross in the future, and you don’t want to be left helpless in the face of a burned-out bridge.
12. There is nothing to discuss now
Many people make better friends than partners, which may be the case for you and your ex. When you were together, you might constantly argue about finances and other relationship issues. Now that you’re separated with separate lives and resources, these painful topics can be moot points.
In a relationship, they may have been on each other’s throats constantly. As former partners who remain friends, you may laugh and enjoy each other’s company again. Your past relationship can also help you avoid making the same mistakes with future lovers again.
After breakup or divorceThat they remain friends does not mean that everything is under the rug and that they are lovers again. As mature adults, you both try to maintain courtesy and respect for each other. When you can do that, both of you will leave as better people.