Everyone wants their relationship to be full of love and happiness. But sadly, as divorce and separation rates rise around the world over time, it becomes increasingly clear that not everyone has the right components for the most positive relationship possible.
Are you worried your relationship won’t work out in the long run? Keep your thinking positive because you can always work to improve it with your partner! The trick is knowing what your relationship needs to be loving, appreciative, and supportive. Here are 11 secret but powerful ingredients of a loving relationship.
Have you ever heard people talk about how funny the most attractive people are? There is a scientific truth to that! It’s not just because a sense of humor is inherently desirable, but also because laughter has numerous interpersonal, mental, and physical benefits. Relieves stress, power positive thinkingand encourages bonding and of course it is undeniably desirable!
- The ability to laugh at yourself means the ability to learn from mistakes and accept them.
- The ability to laugh at the mistakes of others indicates a tendency to forgive and move on.
- Laughter means opening up to intimacy, which often results in emotional connections.
- Compatible senses of humor mean that each day can be a fun and exciting adventure.
2. Commitment is key to a loving relationship
In a relationship, two unique and separate individuals live and grow together. This will always involve some degree of conflict, especially in wishes, ideas, and goals. The secret to maintaining a loving relationship through all of that lies in commitment.
Compromise can best be defined as the act of an agreement between two different wishes or opinions, generally reached by parties on all sides that make compromises. In other words, you are in the middle whenever you can.
Does this mean that all situations require a 50/50 commitment? Not necessarily. While it is doable, it can be very calculating and is generally not possible in the long run. However, it does mean learning the art of give and take: when to defend your position and when to let your partner have the day. In summary, a healthy engagement involves:
- Try to find yourself in the middle while understanding that this is not always possible.
- Intentionally creating harmony as much as possible.
- Looking for the most viable situation for both parties.
- Balance the amount of give and take from each partner
- Knowing when to want to get your way doesn’t mean you should
- Be willing sometimes to get the shorter end of the stick
- Know what they cannot compromise on (or where their limits lie)
The person you are in a relationship with is not just your adventure, it is your partner, someone with whom you are hand in hand in the long term. Without loyalty, a relationship cannot flourish.
Nor is it simply about not cheating. Many different factors contribute to the creation of loyalty. Typically, each relationship has its own definition of loyalty. This can include:
- Prioritize and support each other
- Never give up on each other.
- Keeping promises and dating plans
4. Fight positively
It’s common to associate arguments with an unhealthy relationship, but that’s not the case! Fighting is not necessarily a bad thing. In many relationships, it can help forge stronger bonds. The trick is in how you fight.
A study of divorce rates and their links to marital conflict revealed three common fighting styles:
This is a negative form of fighting, involving yelling, name calling, and explosive arguments.
Retreat is an avoidance strategy in which you avoid the fight simply by retreating. There are two ways to do this: by leaving a situation or by simply keeping quiet during the fight.
This is the positive form of struggle that everyone should aspire to: it means trying to find solutions and working together to resolve the conflict.
As is probably obvious, constructive fights were the best indicator of a healthy and lasting relationship. It is a positive way to handle conflict and it makes you stronger, as you and your partner must work together to solve the problem that you both face.
Few can deny that relationships are hard work. They require patience, and you’re going to go through bad times when you need mountains of it. Each person in the relationship has their own motivations, reactions, responses, and feelings, and you won’t always like those factors. This is how it is!
More importantly, relationships involve a strong element of learning and growing together. There are very few rapid growth processes. When a problem is found, it can take months or even years for you and your partner to work on your negative traits and improve them.
Pushing your partner to improve faster is likely to make you feel guilty and even insecure, which could lead to counterproductive actions. You will need their patience as much as they need yours, so try to take that into account. Give them room to grow and claim your own space too.
This seems like a no-brainer, but it is often taken for granted significantly in long-term comfortable relationships. There are many different factors involved in physical chemistry, and without them, relationships can quickly become dull and boring. Here are some indicators of physical chemistry:
- Presence of a “spark” between partners
- Physical attraction to your partner
- Compatibility in intimate desires
- Comfort and physical security
- Frequency of physical contact
- Satisfaction with bedroom affairs.
Please note that while intimacy activities in the bedroom should in no way define a complete relationship, studies have shown that unhappiness with such intimacy leads to less satisfaction in the relationship. If your relationship is totally sexual, try to keep things exciting in the bedroom!
7. Understanding in a love relationship
Feeling understood and accepted by the partner is essential in a love relationship. It sounds simple, but it is often more difficult in practice. It implies:
- Being able to put yourself in the place of your partner
- Understand the ways in which your partner’s upbringing and experiences have shaped you.
- Take note of the subtle quirks and signs of your partner’s mood.
- Listen to your partner without judgment
- Empathize with your partner’s emotions
- Know not to take things personally
- Give your partner the space or time they need to process things
- Learning their love language
- Realizing that they will express themselves differently to you
It’s a lot to take in, but it can be simplified like this: You and your partner must accept that you are both different people and you must want to understand each other’s point of view, even when it contrasts significantly with yours.
8. Positive eye contact
Eye contact is powerful. It affirms close connections and helps create a stronger bond between two people. It may seem silly, but it is common knowledge that making this type of contact is key to a deeper and more meaningful interaction. Eye contact:
- It fosters empathy and positive feelings towards someone, which makes it more difficult to be seriously angry with them.
- Creates a connection between two people that makes the interaction more meaningful
- Subtly transmits information or messages non-verbally, even in public, forming a “secret language” between partners
- It’s a quick and easy way to forge a split-second connection with a partner, even in business times.
Mindfulness is a genuine component of a positive and loving relationship. Feeling neglected, unwanted, and neglected is a quick way for a relationship to turn sour. You want your partner’s focus because you want them to be included in your life and for you to be included in theirs. Here are some ways to pay attention to a partner (which you should also get from them):
- Respond to calls, texts and questions promptly
- Spend time each day for your partner
- Listen when your partner talks about problems, passions or their day
- Of course, attention should be paid to balance. You don’t want to suffocate or suffocate your partner with overflowing waves of concentration. They both need their own space too!
It’s simple: no relationship can work without respect. We’re not just talking about basic human decency when it comes to respect, as that should be a fact and it’s the bare minimum, not something to have to work towards. How are you supposed to maintain a positive connection with someone you don’t think highly of? Here are some examples of respect in a love relationship:
- Worrying about the goals, dreams, and aspirations of others
- Offer only constructive criticism when you have concerns or problems
- Appreciate the unique talents, abilities, skills, and strengths that each of you brings
- Admiring the qualities, personalities, and beliefs of others
- Understand and respect the limits of others
- Value the opinions of others, even when they differ from your own
You’ve heard it over and over again, but it’s still worth repeating. Communication is the number one key to success in any relationship. They cannot read the minds of others: they must tell themselves what they want the other person to know and they must know when to talk about something so that they understand it.
Not sure if your relationship has a positive communication? Ask yourself the following questions:
- When you explain things, do you talk to your partner or to them?
- Do you interrupt your partner when they talk or do they interrupt you?
- Is your dialogue productive and reaches effective solutions and conclusions?
- Do the conversations tend to be one-sided or do you both have relatively equal talk time?
- Can they understand the communication styles of others?
- Do you often feel fired after discussing your problems with a partner?
- Do you tell your partner when you have a problem or do you prefer to keep it to yourself to avoid conflict?
No one can deny that relationships are hard work, and maintaining a loving and compassionate relationship can be difficult at times. There is no shame in walking away from a relationship that no longer works, but before you do, try working with these powerful ingredients of a love relationship. Small improvements in your daily life with a partner can make the difference between a breakup and “until death do us part.”