Why do some people seem to be a social butterfly with friends everywhere them, but others struggle to find meaningful relationships? How can you make new connections with people when you don’t know exactly how to do it?
Making friends sounds so simple, but why do so many struggle to find someone they can welcome into their inner circle? Fortunately, this list of 11 reasons making friends is hard can help.
11 reasons some people struggle to form friendships
Once you can identify the areas that you are struggling with, you can see how you need to shift your focus to widen your circle. What would life be like without people who love and support you walking by your side?
1. You expect them to magically appear
It’s easier to make friends when you’re at school. However, when you graduate from high school or college, making friends becomes a whole new ball game. The structure that helps you form relationships is gone.
Once you reach adulthood, you must create opportunities to make friends. It would be helpful if you could come up with a strategy that works for you. You can’t make friends sitting on the couch watching TV.
You need to get out there and mingle a bit. Present yourself in places where there are people with similar interests. When you leave things to time and chance, you are risking a lot.
You must take the first step and date others. Not only will being available will increase your circle of friends, but it will also feel good to get off the couch and do something fun.
Some places you can try are book clubs, art galleries, clubs, churches, conferences, and the gym. Also, when you have kids, it’s easy to trust them and bond with their parents while bonding through your kids.
2. You need to learn that making friends is like dating.
Have you ever received invitations to an office party or other social event, but you always turn them down? These sessions are great places to network with people outside of the office. You could get along with someone while you’re there.
Think outside the box: Instead of planning all your time with your love interest, schedule time with your friends. You can have a “girl date” or a “boy date”. Make plans like you would with a romantic partner and then stick to them.
If you get along with someone, schedule a meeting and put it on your calendar. Why is having a social life so much like Go on a date? You know someone you like; Get your number, write it down in pencil, and make plans to do new and exciting things.
After meeting someone you like, don’t be a scared guy to call for that second date. If you feel a spark of friendship between the two of you, then you need to get over that feeling. They most likely feel the same way about you.
3. You are afraid that people will think you are weird
Many people are afraid of exposing themselves; there are vulnerable in a relationship. You may be afraid that they will think you are weird or that horns will come out of your head when you speak. Unfortunately, this is all a figment of your imagination.
It is so difficult for some people to establish relationships in school or in life because they are socially awkward. If you think it’s a bit creepy, it most likely isn’t. Extraordinary people are the ones who have no idea that they are a bit weird or eccentric.
Shift your mindset to a more positive note. Think of it this way; Even if you look a little weird, the other person might enjoy it because they also walk to the beat of their own drum.
4. You are not using your connections
If you have a friend who seems to be the life of the party, why not ask them to introduce you to others? Chances are, if he likes you, any friends he has will like you too.
If you don’t know where to start making friends, start by reaching out to the people you love and trust the most.
Why not ask your friend to set up a meeting where you can meet some of the others in your circle?
5. You don’t know what you want
It’s a challenge to make friends if you don’t know what you want. Some people will just become friendly with those around them because they are there. Don’t just pick the first person you see; you need to meet people who complement your taste.
You need to connect with your friends and don’t be afraid to be selective about who you let into your circle. Look for people who have the same ambition, style, and character traits as you. When you have similarities, you will likely remain friends for longer.
Never lower your standards or be something you are not just to make friends with. It’s okay if you don’t like someone, and it’s okay if it takes multiple dates with friends to see if you click. Remember, relationships in the Platonic world are like those in the dating world; Things take time.
If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to make another date. You can be nice and respectful and back off. You do not have an obligation to act a certain way or pretend to be someone you are not. Relationships based on falsehood will collapse. You should find someone that fits you like a sock and a shoe.
7. You try to avoid drama
Maybe you’ve had a relationship that went bad and left a bad taste in your mouth. Don’t compare other friendships with potential new friends. Not everyone who comes into your life will be a gossip, whisperer or someone toxic.
It’s not fair to judge potential friends for past mistakes. Would you be happy if everyone judged you for the things you’ve done before? To make friends, you must be willing to put past events behind you and live in the future.
8. You don’t feel sociable enough
Can you see yourself as an antisocial person, so you feel inferior when making new friends. There is nothing wrong with you if you don’t have many close friends. Some people need to be around people, while others prefer the solitude of going alone.
Strive for a strong dose of self-love!
Nothing happens to you. Don’t be embarrassed because you don’t have a long list of friends to invite to an event. If you have one or two good friends, then you have found one of life’s greatest treasures.
9. Making friends requires skills
If you have some self-confidence and excellent communication skills, then it can help you make friends. However, you don’t need those things to form a connection. Your emotional intelligence, sense of humor, and presentation will draw people to you.
Why not develop your sense of humor by learning a few jokes to help you break the ice? People like to mingle with those who have something to offer, even if it’s just a good personality. Develop some social skills that will help you know how to win new friends.
10. You are too private
Are you a private person who doesn’t want people in your business? It’s okay; you don’t have to spend every waking moment with your friends. You have the opportunity to choose the type of social life you want to develop.
Maybe you want someone to go to the movies or go out to eat with once in a while, and that’s perfectly fine. Some people like friends at home every day and others prefer distance. Do what seems best to you when it comes to your friends.
Build relationships slowly and you will begin to trust little by little. There is nothing wrong if you choose open carefully!
11. You don’t know what you are worth
Are you afraid to go out and mix with others because you don’t know your true worth? You may feel like people will judge you, not your personality, or feel embarrassed to be with you. That’s just your low self esteem talking.
Can you offer warmth and comfort or a shoulder to cry on? If so, then you already have the perfect foundation for a good friendship. Your kindness is a gift that everyone will appreciate.
An old proverb says make friends; you must first be friendly. What are you doing to improve your inner circle? If you want someone to tell your secrets to and a shoulder to cry on, you need to become those things too.
Express yourself and don’t be afraid to take chances with new experiences. You can set the rules and decide what is best for you. However, life is too short to go through without a strong support system of friends by your side.