Do you consider yourself a confident person or do you use negative thought patterns to define who you are? It’s a slippery slope that can lead you to deeper doubts, depression, and anxiety. The good news is that you can build your self esteem just like you can exercise to build muscle. How? Avoiding these self confidence killers.
It takes a commitment and changing your thoughts and lifestyle. You don’t need anything less than satisfaction, joy, gratitude, and trust. By nature, some people are more self-confident than others. Experts say that children are born with a neutral sense of self. The way they are raised, socialization, and other factors can build or bring confidence down.
Your first mentors were your parents. When they used positive words and affirmations, it allowed him to believe in his burgeoning abilities. Encouraging words like “you can do it” or “okay, you will do better” go a long way toward developing child esteem.
However, verbal and emotional abuse at an early age can establish the pattern of low self-esteem in adulthood. Soon, you may start to think that you are unworthy, unwanted, and deficient. Shape negative thought patterns They evolve into habits that can be mentally, physically and spiritually damaging.
No matter how old you are or how deeply ingrained your self-defeating thoughts and actions are, you can overcome them. It requires a complete investment of how you think about yourself. On the contrary, the golden rule also means that you should treat yourself as well as others.
Have you noticed any habits that you have that could affect your self-confidence? With some work and possibly some therapy, you can break these habits and change them for others that cultivate self-esteem. It is time for you to realize that you are as good as everyone else.
Habits that kill self-esteem and self-confidence
1. Stay in a negative atmosphere
Be in a negative atmosphere it’s like being in a room with little oxygen. You may be fine for a while, but soon you will have trouble breathing. Negativity is very contagious and can affect the strongest person.
Do you surround yourself with toxic people who always make you lose heart and confidence in yourself? Instead, try to be with those who create a festive atmosphere that makes everyone feel good about themselves. While you will always have to deal with toxic people at some point or another, you can still choose not to include them in your inner circle.
2. Feeling that everyone else gets the benefits
It’s only human when you’re struggling to make ends meet and wonder how others seem to be blessed in every way. Self pity And petty jealousy can create negative thought patterns that can suppress self-confidence. You may start to think that you are not good enough or that you will always be plagued by bad luck.
Remember the old saying that nobody knows what happens behind closed doors? Even the richest people in the world have problems that weigh heavily on their minds. When you realize that materialism won’t buy you joy, you can see the blessings you have and be grateful for them.
3. Overthinking situations
If you want to develop more self-confidence, you need to stop overthinking everything. That does not mean that you should not investigate and think about making crucial decisions in your life. When you are not confident in your abilities and decision-making abilities, you constantly overthink things.
Thinking too much about decisions and situations can make you feel overly stressed. Numerous studies warn that stress can lead to mental problems, coronary heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, stroke, cancer, and even premature death. Learn to trust your instincts and know that you can make the right decisions and that some situations are out of your control.
4. Using the wrong body language
Did you know that your body language speaks louder than your voice? The next time you are around multiple people, make a mental note of each other’s posture and body language. When you see those slouching and shuffling, you can assume they are sick or lacking in self-confidence.
How do you behave? Do you have an upright posture with open, friendly body language that says you are confident? Positive body language and good posture not only make you feel better about yourself, they also have a positive effect on others.
5. Living in the past
We all know some people who keep their minds on the past. You will notice that they rarely use the present or future tense when speaking. Of course, remembering the good times you had years ago can be fun and healthy, but the past cannot take over your life.
A mindset from the past can be especially damaging when you are constantly brooding over painful memories. It takes away your self-confidence and can fill your life with doubts, pain, resentment, and depression. Living in the present makes you happy for who you are and what you have now.
6. Track your failures and failures
Did you know that Carrie, the first Stephen King novel was rejected hundreds of times? Still, he went through the sting of rejection to make the classic horror movie that has become iconic. He went on to write 86 books, and many of his books became box office hits. You improve your self-confidence when you use your failures as learning tools for success, as King did.
You are also not alone when it comes to flaws and shortcomings. However, healthy and confident people will acknowledge their mistakes, apologize, and learn from them. Instead of using them as a rod, use your failures and failures as a ladder to your best self.
7. Forget to be grateful
Some may think it’s a cliché, but counting your blessings is one of the best life lessons you can practice. When was the last time you looked at the beautiful things in your life? Also, have you thought about being thankful for the things you “don’t” have?
Gratitude is a precursor to self-confidence and a radiant personality. As you see its many benefits each day, you feel blessed, happy, and confident. Some people find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal for writing and daily or periodic reflection.
8. Compare yourself with others
Unfairly comparing yourself to others is one of the main killers of self confidence. It is part of human nature to measure up to the looks and abilities of others. Fortunately, this comparison is part of the competition and working to improve. However, it becomes a problem when it erodes your self-esteem.
The media and Hollywood often set unrealistic expectations of people, especially women. Most of the beautiful people on screen and pictures have the magic of light, cameras, makeup, photo enhancement, and plastic surgery. Remember that these are actors in fictional situations that do not replace reality.
You may be unfairly judging yourself to your friends and family who you consider to be the most handsome, most successful, and most talented. When you can celebrate your individuality and be proud of your abilities and accomplishments, you will realize true self-confidence.
9. Allow fear to take over
Do you admire people who have looked danger in the eye without flinching? Being brave and having courage are virtues that are widely misunderstood. When you are brave, you are still afraid, but you go through the fear to defeat your adversary.
If you are satisfied with an attitude of defeat, it destroys your self-confidence and attracts more negativity into your life. Often times, you will find that the things you fear most rarely happen. So instead of being shrouded in the shadows of fear, you can be brave one day at a time.
10. Keep the drama going
Have you noticed that “drama” has become a buzzword in the media and in many conversations? You may hear people call themselves “drama queens” or quote a lot of funny sayings about the overly dramatic person. Although everyone has ups and downs in their life, some people turn their lives into a soap opera.
Unfortunately, these playwrights often try to drag others into their negative scripts. These guys are true confidence killers! To maintain your self-esteem and peace of mind, don’t get caught up in these life-draining situations. Such negativity can only bring you down, and you’ll appear on the soap opera over and over again.
If you have a drama enthusiast in your life, refuse to be a part of their games. While you can be empathetic, you don’t need to take sides and be emotionally drained. Save time and resources for the things that need your attention.
You may be practicing some of thesetrusted killers without even realizing it. The remedy is to believe in yourself, stay positive, and show gratitude. When you consider these actions, you will find that you have always been “good enough.”