Do you know someone who loves to talk about himself? This person tends to have higher beliefs and is held in high esteem. You don’t have to look far to find someone like that, as social media is full of people boosting their self-esteem by being a conversational narcissist.
Without a doubt, you have heard of narcissistic personalities and you may have encountered some in your day. Perhaps even you are struggling with narcissistic personality disorder. According to the DSM-5, NPD is a greedy and status-driven person who often engages in destructive behavior.
Consequently, a newer subcategory of this personality has formed, which is known as conversational narcissists. These people are a bit different from the traditional type in that they know how to use their conversation to manipulate and control relationships through the use of their voice.
Ten signs of a conversational narcissist
It is essential to recognize the difference between someone with poor communication skills and a genuine personality disorder. The difference between the two is that once a person realizes that they are ignoring, invalidating, and using others, the narcissist will continue the toxic behavior.
The person with low skills will modify his speech to be more accommodating. These are the signs to watch out for when dealing with a conversational narcissist.
1. Topics of control and direct conversation
One-sided talks are challenging. If you are the person who constantly listens while someone else is talking, then it is a red flag. For a conversation to be healthy, it is necessary to give and receive.
Each person should have a turn to speak and the other person should listen. Anyone who masters or treasures a conversation can be self-absorbed. The conversational narcissist only cares about what they have to say and no one else.
2. Know-it-all and unwanted advice
Have you ever received unwanted advice from people that makes you look red? New moms often talk about all the unwarranted parenting advice they get, but take it in stride. However, the conversational narcissist takes the attitude that they know everything about everything.
Their importance that they imagine themselves allows them to have an answer to any problem you have, and they believe they are a “know-it-all”. Well, they think about it on the outside, but on the inside they are trying to make up for their insecurities. Their rude and unsolicited advice may drive you crazy, but it comes from a dark and lonely place that exists within them.
3.- Frequently interrupts others
There is nothing worse than being interrupted when you try to speak. Expect this behavior from children or toddlers, but the conversational narcissist will, too. They think what they have to say is so important that they won’t wait until you’re done.
They will interrupt you mid-sentence to rush you and intervene in their thoughts. Interrupting you when you’re speaking only shows their false sense of arrogance and entitlement.
4. Dominant during talk time
A conversation with a narcissist looks like this: “Oh, I’m so sorry you have a headache, but would you mind taking me to the grocery store?” The key is that the focus always returns to them.
These people have incredible skills that make them capable of monopolizing the discussion, and they are also not afraid to rudely interrupt you. Conversational narcissists have a staggering lack of recognition of what others are saying, even if the information is critical, private, and vulnerable in nature. They don’t really care about anyone other than themselves, so having a close and loving relationship with this person is impossible.
5. Unjustified superiority complex
Another common trait of the conversational narcissist is that they have a superiority complex for no good reason. They may seem arrogant or conceited, but this is all an attempt to cover up the deficiencies they feel inside. This person feels the need to demean, judge, demean, reduce, mock, and discriminate against others.
Just remember that this behavior has more to do with them than with you, and someone who is in a healthy place on the inside is not trying to destroy others. They need to put you down to feel better, and that just shows how messy things are inside their mind. Them they don’t love themselves, so they need to find a superior to cover up this inner hatred.
6. Unsympathetic listening skills
Not only does the person want to spend all their time talking about themselves, they will also dictate any other topics discussed. If you are not talking about topics that they like, then they are not interested. Even if you manage to interject a few words, they will listen briefly, ignore the conversation, and return to the topic of their choosing.
7. Conspiring or using others as an extension of oneself
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is difficult, especially since they have a good relationship with others. According to Lisa thomson wells, a renowned writer and motivational speaker, narcissists often attempt to manipulate and exploit others for selfish gain. Once a person notices your patterns, they move on.
Being manipulated by a narcissist is not always easy to spot. They are very cunning with their false promises and insincere compliments. However, if you don’t take the bait with the first few tactics, they will use guilt, lies, excuses, and hostility to get what they want. Remember, these people can’t identify with you, but they sure know how to use you.
8. Use lots of filler phrases
Another interesting thing that you will notice about conversational narcissists is that they like to use filler words. Now, many people have phrases because they lose their train of thought or use them out of habit, but this person does it because they are not listening to you at all.
When someone is not participating in your conversation, they can say things like “mmm” or “interesting”. Be careful with these filler words, as the person may be a bit selfish and simply not participate in the discussion.
9. Extreme exaggeration and self-praise
Do you have that friend who never ceases to amaze you during a conversation? You may be talking about the weather and they may find a way to say that they are lawyers or that they have a lot of money saved. These people need validation and a way to boost their self-esteem, and they find any conversation to be an excellent time to do so.
Social media has given these narcissists a platform to use with ease. Here, you can easily show off, flaunt, and dramatize your life, and you always have a captive audience. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back for commendable accomplishments, but it shouldn’t be an everyday thing.
The real problem is that the person is compensating for the emptiness they feel on the inside, so they push themselves on a superficial level on the outside. The problem is that they are not fooling anyone but themselves.
10. The eyes of the listeners are glassy
The narcissist knows how to dominate the conversation and cares so much about what he is talking about that he assumes you are too. How do you know if you are talking to a selfish person? Well, if your eyes are starting to glaze over, your body language is stiff and awkward, and you’re not paying attention, you’ve clearly been bored to tears.
Final thoughts on the conversational narcissist
When dealing with a narcissist of any kind, you need to remember that everything you see and hear from them is false. They are creating this superiority complex to distract themselves from the deficiencies they feel inside. In many cases, these people have been abused, neglected, or have had traumatic experiences in life that have left them forever altered.
Also, a narcissistic personality disorder is a true mental illness and it is not something that goes away on its own. It takes years of therapy, rewiring the brain, and admitting there is a problem to even try to overcome it. Unfortunately, according to American addiction centers, the recovery rate for this condition ranges from zero to six percent.
The main problem that many do not recover from is because they are too proud to seek help. When it comes to conversational narcissists, they are a bit more vocal than others, and they tend to use their voice to caress their bruised self-esteem. It is best to stay away from this person or urge them to seek help.