Do you open up carefully or do you meet someone and tell them everything since you were born? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could trust the motives of every person you meet? In a perfect world, you could meet a new friend, tell them all your darkest secrets, and know that they will be there through thick and thin.
Sadly, many people pay a hefty price when they trust others too much. You can be attracted to a good appearance, a charming smile or someone endowed with charisma. Some people are more troublesome than valuable, and you have no way of knowing when you first meet.
While you may have all the right reasons, some people only use others because they want something in return. Have you ever heard of someone “sleeping to the top”? Using sex appeal and the power of hormones, people will lower themselves to the lowest level to get what they want.
Fortunately, there are people in this world who be a true friend. They will be by your side no matter what life throws at you. It’s hard not to be pessimistic when meeting someone new, but you need to protect yourself.
Ten reasons why you should open up carefully when meeting new people
If you tend to disclose too much too quickly when meeting someone, you need to be careful. Here are ten reasons why you should open up carefully when starting new relationships.
1. You don’t want everyone to know your secrets
Suppose you met a lovely lady and shared a night of drinks and laughter. During this period, he felt so comfortable that he began to tell her about all the pains of his past. You have put yourself in a very vulnerable position by exposing your heart to her.
You can take that information and file it in the back of your mind for future reference or use it to get ahead in life. What if this woman tried to get you out of your position at the office? Any dirt you give in here could be used against you.
Although life does not function as a court of law, keep in mind that anything you say can and will be used against you. When you keep that mindset, you control what you say. Never tell anyone anything that you are afraid of will repeat itself. No wonder that is said gossip can be as cruel as the grave.
2. Some people don’t have good reasons
While some people may want to be your friends, not all your best interests at heart. What if a person you just met who seems friendly enough wants to get information so your ex can use it against you in court?
If you have other conflicts in life, such as a pending child custody case, carefully open up to anyone new. What if this person is a paid agent for the other party? Sadly, you shouldn’t have to think this way in life, but people will use you for revenge.
3. Could be used
Have you ever heard people with money say that they want people to like them, not what they can do for them? Perhaps you have money or are in a prestigious position. Any new person in your life might not be there for the right reasons.
You need to open up carefully when it comes to someone who knows you have authority or influence, and wants to use that to their advantage. They can use words as sweet as honey and pretend to be your best friend. The sad thing is that they are only in the relationship to see what they can achieve.
4. You put yourself in a vulnerable position
Nobody likes to be vulnerable and exposed. Even if a friendship starts off on the right foot, what if things get ugly later on? Anything you’ve said can be used against you.
What if you told your girlfriend that you once tried a serious drug in college? You were never hooked on drugs and you didn’t even like how it made you feel. However, they give it a twist and the story gets worse.
You could go to your workplace, house of faith, or group of friends, who have a drug problem. When you tell secrets, they are open to interpretation. Your view of things may not be how someone else sees it, and it can end in disaster.
5. A bad friend can destroy your life
Have you ever seen the movie? Single white woman starring Bridget Fonda? The psychological thriller has a terrifying premise. The main character of the film has everything going for him in life. She has the perfect boyfriend, a great apartment, and a fantastic career. When her boyfriend cheats on her, she is forced to find a roommate to share the expenses. The roommate you choose has a horrible past and has murdered in another state.
She seems like the perfect friend, but in the end, the main character almost lost his life. While this is a movie and you must suspend reality, the premise is terrifying enough to consider. The woman was fleeing her past, and before everything came to an end, she wanted to take over the life of the main character.
Keep in mind that not everyone cares about your best interests. While murder is a bit extreme, you have to keep your guard up in today’s society.
What if you have a past that is not the best? Nobody is perfect. You could have a divorce, love affairs, past drug abuse, bankruptcy, and all kinds of things that you’ve dealt with in life. What could happen if you don’t open carefully?
Could you scare the others? What would happen to a new friend if they discovered your deepest and darkest secrets? Would they still want to be friends with you?
No law says you have to open up about your life. You can choose what you disclose to your friends and some secrets must remain buried.
7. It takes time to build trust
It takes months or even years to build the kind of relationships that last a lifetime. Don’t be so eager to immerse yourself in a friendship. Whether you’re dating someone new or have a new best friend to hang out with, be careful and give yourself time to build trust.
8. If you have been burned before, do not recover quickly
Have you been hurt in previous relationships? Why do people break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend only to get married six months later? Rebound ratios rarely works.
Your heart and your emotions are everywhere when you have lost someone close and dear. Since you are emotionally vulnerable, it stands to reason that you are looking to hold on to someone else. When it comes to matters of the heart, don’t recover too quickly or it can cause major problems.
9. You need an aura of mystery about you
Keep a little mystery about yourself when meeting someone new. Don’t start telling them about your parents, siblings, a dog you had when you were little, and all your failed love interests. Instead, leave a few things to the imagination.
If you want to ensure that people do not use it, it must be opened carefully. Keep things on the surface until you’ve had enough time to get comfortable talking about your life. Some people naturally want to tell you anything and everything about themselves, but no law says you have to do the same.
10. Some things must remain private
Why is it so difficult for some people to realize that some things must remain private? One of the reasons you open carefully is that no one needs to know your business. If it’s a romantic relationship, you don’t want to think about everything that went wrong in previous relationships.
If it’s a friendship, then you need to be very selective about what you say to them. Intimate details and horrible experiences that add nothing to your relationship should be avoided. Instead, if you need to talk about past injuries that have hurt you, talk to a therapist.
Unfortunately, you have to be careful when meeting new people. Not everyone in your universe is the perfect friend and is there to support you. Some people will come your way to use and abuse you for their benefit. You don’t have the time or energy for drama.
When you meet someone new, go very slow in the relationship. Don’t be eager to tell all your secrets and never tell them anything they can use against you. How long should you wait before starting to be more intimate in the conversation?
Some experts say that a year is a reasonable amount of time to see if your friendship will last the test of time. If you feel like your relationship is fading or stagnant, you’ll be glad you didn’t tell them too much. However, if you still feel love and admiration for this person at the one-year mark, you should start to open up carefully.
A good friendship is great for your mental health And it can be what takes you through life You need friends to surround you as a support system, so you need to make sure they are the right ones.