When it comes to a broken-hearted person, you want to comfort them and have the right words to say to ease their pain. Sadly, many people say the wrong things and they make things worse. Remember, these people are in a horrible place in your life and their emotions are running high.
Do you know that you can cause breakups and problems in relationships if you say the wrong things to someone who is hurting? You want to be a source of comfort and help during these difficult times, and your words have power behind them. People can get so depressed that they can die from broken heart syndrome, according to Hopkins Medicine?
Johnny Cash: The Sad Story of a Truly Heartbroken Person
The reality is that a broken heart is something you shouldn’t take lightly. Did you know that family and friends insist that the famous country singer Johnny cash died of a broken heart? In 2003, his loving wife died from complications she developed during heart surgery.
The whole world took the news harshly, but no one experienced pain like the husband who has been by her side for over 35 years. Cash went downhill quickly, and four months later, he was admitted to the hospital for problems with his diabetes.
He died heartbroken without his sweet wife by his side. In fact, diabetes was a major factor. But some family members said his body could not bear the pain of losing what he meant the most to him. When a person experiences such pain that it overwhelms their body, they can take something like diabetes and turn it into a life threatening situation.
Whether it’s due to death, a breakup, or illness, it’s hard to know what to say and what to avoid. You want to wrap your arms around someone who is hurting and tell them how everything will be alright.
Unfortunately, you cannot make such promises because you don’t know that it will be okay. Here are some everyday things you should never say to someone who is heartbroken.
1. I know how you feel
When you tell someone that you know how they feel, you are invalidating their emotions. While you may have experienced something similar, your feelings are not the same.
Each person has a unique personality and feels and acts differently when going through difficult times. So instead of telling them that you know how they feel, try saying something like, “I can’t imagine how you feel right now.”
2. It was the best
Whether they’ve lost a loved one or a significant other, you never want to tell them what’s best. They still love and miss this person very much. So you don’t want to diminish their feelings of loss by telling them it’s better this way.
If it’s love lost, tell them that when one door closes, another opens. If you have lost someone, tell them that you will see them again one day. Give them hope and something to look forward to instead of focusing on the loss.
3. You need to move on
Moving on is easier said than done. When someone has lost a great love, it won’t help much if you tell them to move on with someone new. They need time to grieve and process the loss they have experienced, but they will move on when they are ready.
It would be helpful if you tried to tell them that it is okay to cry and suffer, and that no one should set a timer when they are ready to move on. They can cry for as long as they need to. However, if you see signs of depression, then you should encourage them to seek help.
4. You need to get out more
Sometimes when you have faced a great tragedy in your life, you don’t feel like going out and mingling with society. Stop telling people they need to go out when they don’t even feel like showering and dressing for the day.
Instead, say, “When you’re ready, we can go out for coffee or hang out together.” They would feel safer when they had someone walking by their side than alone in front of the world. Be a source of support and not someone who pushes them when they are not ready.
5. They are in a much better place
One of the most common and yet hurtful things when someone has lost an important person in their life to death is that they are better. Of course, they are in a better place, but the person experiencing the loss will not see it this way.
What would be better to say is something like: “I bet the sky is beautiful and your loved one is very grateful to finally be at peace.” Using a statement like this doesn’t minimize their pain and lets them know that their loved one is in a better place without sounding presumptuous.
No one has the right to tell another person how to cry. Some people naturally tend to cry more than others. There are different stages of grief, and whether you are experiencing a breakup or death, you will go through these stages at your comfort level.
Instead of telling them to dry off, why not say something like, “You cry as much as you want and get it all out. My shoulder is always here if you need it. ”By phrasing it this way, he offers them a shoulder to cry on rather than telling them to get over it.
7. Let me know if there is anything I can do
When someone is heartbroken, there are many people who ask them if there is something they can do for them. However, when someone’s mind is reeling from loss, it is difficult for him to think of something that he needs right away. Also, this is a blanket statement that people use when they have nothing better to say.
It would be better to ask them specific things you can do. You might say, “I can pick up your kids from school or bring them dinner a couple of nights this week.” By using this phrase, you are giving them options and details, so they don’t have to work too hard to find a way to help them.
8. How are you doing?
Stop asking people how they are doing. They are heartbroken and in pain, and they don’t need anyone to remind them of their pain. They may have come to the right place, and when you ask them this question, they reopen their pain.
Try saying something like, “You seem to be doing a lot better and it’s good to see you smile.” Using this type of positive statement will let them know that they are okay and that they will succeed.
9. Did you know this was going to happen
Is there anything worse than telling a heartbroken person what you knew was going to happen? Life is all about risk, and you win some things while losing others. However, when you make these kinds of claims, the blame falls on them. That regret is something they don’t need.
If you lost someone who was ill, you might say, “I am so sorry that you were ill and suffered for so long.” If they lost love, you could say, “There are a lot of fish in the sea, and even though it didn’t work with this one, someday there will be someone else.”
10. You are handling this better than I expected
The key to this statement is “I expected it.” You’re basically telling them that you thought for a fact that they would be a basket case with what they are dealing with right now. If they are doing well, you can certainly tell them and give them that positive reinforcement they need, but you don’t have to compliment and criticize them in the same statement.
Try saying something like, “It’s okay if it doesn’t feel so good. I’m here for you. “Then you acknowledge that they are having a hard time. Plus, you are reminding them that you are there for them.
While a famous song says you say it best when you say nothing, it certainly doesn’t apply to these situations. When someone’s heart is brokenThey need all the love and support they can get. They don’t want you to avoid them or any conversation simply because you don’t have the right words.
It is better to listen than to speak in these cases, but the key is to be there. There are many different reasons why someone may be heartbroken. So please modify the phrases we mentioned above to fit each specific case. The most important thing is not what you say, but your actions.
You need to be there for your friend or loved one who is having a difficult time. They may not have the right words or say anything that suddenly makes them feel better. But you can do wonders by wrapping your arm around them and telling them how much you care. Don’t use common phrases that everyone says when they don’t have the right words, be present.