Everyone experiences self-loathing sometimes, but it can get in the way of their ability to love themselves. If your self-hatred becomes severe enough, it can interfere with your goals and relationships, and it can cause a lack of self-confidence. When this happens to you, you must find a way to stop hating yourself and start loving yourself again.
Sometimes you will be aware that you hate yourself. Other times, you may not even realize you are doing it because there are so many unexpected signs. There are signs you can look for to recognize if you are experiencing self-loathing, including the following behaviors:
- always trying to please others
- you always apologize, sometimes multiple times, for the same thing
- your expectations are too low
- lack of motivation, or you motivate yourself with tough love
- you have negative thoughts about yourself
- look at what goes wrong
- you tell yourself that if something doesn’t work, you won’t get another chance
If you experience any of these signs, it is normal. It happens to everyone, but there’s a way to get over it and start loving yourself again. Work to develop new habits that facilitate stop hating yourself.
How to make it easier to stop hating yourself
Here are some tips to help you stop being so hard on yourself.
Many situations can provoke self-loathing, and overcoming it requires you to figure out what triggers you. If you can uncover the triggers, you can avoid those situations or make a positive change during them.
One way to determine triggers is through a journal. As you write down your problems, concerns, fears, and concerns, you can recognize consistencies. Journaling also helps reduce anxiety and depression, both of which contribute to self-hatred.
Think specifically about the instances when you hated yourself during the day. Doing this before bed can help because you can reflect on an entire day and acknowledge what you were doing, where you were, or who you were with. Even the time of day that self-loathing started can be a trigger.
Once you’ve determined your triggers, you can decide what to do. You can choose to remove the trigger or you can make changes to improve it. Find healthy coping mechanisms to help you get through the things that trigger it.
While anything can trigger your self-loathing, there are common triggers. Some of the common triggers include:
- recalling a traumatic experience
- constantly being looked down upon
- comparing yourself to others
- life changes no matter how big or small
- obstacles or challenges
- physical or mental abuse
2. Treat yourself the same way you treat your loved ones
You wouldn’t treat your loved ones negatively, so stop treating yourself that way. The next time you notice that you hate yourself, think about how you would treat others in that situation.
If your loved one is in a bad situation, you won’t make it worse with your words. They are likely to say uplifting things, give them good advice, and support them. Do the same for yourself instead of being negative, and work to get stronger.
3. Be grateful
Practicing gratitude can quickly help you stop hating yourself and start loving yourself again. Focus on the positive things in your life instead of the things you don’t like. It will be easier for you to focus on self-love and build your self-esteem by taking the time to be grateful.
If you keep a journal, gratitude is another thing you can add. Take time each day to write down the things you are grateful for and include positive things about yourself.
4. make changes in your life
Changing your life for the better is always a good thing, but even more so if you want to stop hating yourself. Change is not bad and it can drive you to be better and challenge yourself. Plus, change can help you break out of self-hate cycles so that you can love yourself again.
If you know that a particular place or situation triggers your hatred, change it. You can avoid the area or situation or make changes to create a more positive experience. Some of the things you may need to change include:
- your work
- the people you spend time with
- your home
Change is difficult, especially when it is a significant change. Fight your fear of change and immerse yourself knowing that it is for your happiness and self-love. Everything will work out and you must have faith and love yourself.
The changes you make don’t have to happen all at once. Take your time and do a little more each day until you are where you want to be.
5. Talk to someone
When you realize that you hate yourself, find someone to talk to about it. Make sure it is someone you trust and help boost your spirit. When you tell them the things they have in mind, they will counter it with positivity.
Before you know it, their positive comments will come to mind even when they’re not around. Plus, their great feedback will give you something else to be thankful for.
Also, you will feel more motivated to be who that person said you are. If you were told that you are successful, you would work harder to achieve your goals. In the same way, if they said nice or helpful, you will do things that reinforce that idea.
If you don’t have someone close to you who you feel comfortable talking to, there are other options. You could talk to a therapist who can help you stop hating yourself and learn to love yourself again.
If you continually criticize your appearance, personality, or abilities, you will have a hard time loving yourself. You will believe those negative thoughts or words about yourself and slow down your progress.
Self-criticism is a direct cause of self-loathing, so you must stop if you want to love yourself. When you realize that you are critical, change your mindset and replace negativity with positivity.
7. Recognize your strengths
You can’t hate yourself while thinking about the things you are good at. Learn to recognize your strengths and remind yourself of them in times of self-hatred.
If you cannot think of what is good the first time, ask those closest to you to help you come up with some ideas. They will know your strengths, and as they tell you what they are, you will begin to recognize them as well.
8. Give to others
Studies show that when you give to others, your negative feelings will diminish. Also, you will notice an increase in your self-esteem and your stress levels will decrease. This can help you drive away self-hatred and start loving yourself.
You don’t always have to give gifts. Simply giving your time will be more than enough. Volunteer, help a loved one or friend, or do a random act of kindness for someone. You will feel better about yourself right away.
9. Forgive yourself and show compassion
To let go of self-hatred, you must first forgive yourself. If your trigger is thinking about painful moments in the past, then this is what to do. Forgiving yourself is the only way to release those negative feelings that memory brings.
You should also be compassionate. Think about how you would forgive your loved ones when they made a mistake. Then forgive yourself in the same way because no one is perfect and everyone deserves forgiveness.
10. Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is one of the most damaging things you can do. When you compare yourself to others, it is an unfair comparison. Remember that you only see what the other person wants you to see.
This is a big problem with social media because many people don’t post the negative parts of their lives. They often portray their lives as perfect when, in real life, everyone has problems.
When you compare yourself to others, it can lead to self-loathing, depression, and lowered self-esteem. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try comparing yourself to where you have been in the past. As you progress in your life, you will be on the right track and doing very well.
Self-loathing is a problem that everyone faces from time to time. For some, it occurs more frequently and for long periods. No matter how often you experience it, you must find a way to start loving yourself again.
Find out what triggers these negative feelings, and then work to make a change in your life. No one is perfect, so forgive yourself and treat yourself the same way you treat your loved ones. Always remember that you are good enough and you are on the right track.
If you can implement some of these habits to start loving yourself again, you will quickly notice a change. Use these habits to learn to love yourself and experience happiness and joy. peace in your life.