For some people, it seems impossible to take responsibility for their mistakes. While this can be irritating, it can be easier to accept if you understand.
People like this often to blame his mistakes in someone or something else, instead of admitting some role in it.
If you or someone you know has a hard time taking responsibility, there are reasons behind it. Often this behavior is unintentional and they really don’t want it to be. They tend to be negative and harbor pain or distress, which contributes to the behavior.
Failure to take responsibility for mistakes can come in different ways. It can make the person vulnerable and will also cause them to do the following:
- blame someone or something else
- make excuses for what happened or not
- not acknowledge something they have done
- they often say something like “it’s not my fault”.
Although bad things happen in life, it is important to take responsibility for some of them. While it may be difficult to understand why some people struggle with this, counselors explains the reasoning.
Ten reasons why some people are not responsible for mistakes
1 – They think it will benefit them
Most of the time, people avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes because they believe it will benefit them. It occurs when the person cannot think of another solution or feels that they cannot handle it. They think avoiding responsibility is easier than taking responsibility.
2 – They have a victim mentality
Counselors reveal that this is sometimes caused by the person having a victim mentality. If someone has a victim mentality, they feel that bad things are happening to them and that other people are to blame. They also believe that something is always preventing them from being successful, so they don’t even try.
They often believe that their problem has no solution. The person gives up and thinks it didn’t work because of the hurdle, rather than admitting it was because they didn’t try to find a solution.
3 – They feel powerless
People who don’t take responsibility for their mistakes can also feel helpless. They want things to go well, but they can’t seem to do anything to improve their lives. Often this is because they think change is impossible or that it will never work.
4 – They use negative self-talk
Counselors they also reveal that negative self-talk or own thoughts contribute to this behavior. People believe that bad things only happen to them and that they deserve all those bad things.
5 – They fear rejection and feel that no one cares about them
They often feel like no one cares about them, so they don’t want to admit their mistakes because they fear further rejection. Their fear of making others angry or disappointed with them is too great to admit fault when necessary.
6 – They lack self-confidence
Another reason for not being able to take responsibility is a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. They may think that they are not good enough or smart enough, and they will not work to be better. Also, they won’t try anything new.
7 – They harbor negative feelings
Frustration, anger, and resentment can help prevent someone from taking responsibility for mistakes, too. When these negative feelings take over, it feels better to blame someone else or think about how someone hurt you. They also don’t like to see other people happy and successful.
8 – It is a defense mechanism
Past trauma often contributes to failure to take responsibility. It develops as a coping mechanism, and it can be difficult to change that once the situation is over. When they think a situation will be challenging, they will deny responsibility to avoid dealing with the problem.
9 – They feel like they are losing control
People who avoid taking responsibility will blame their behavior on someone else if they lose control. If they lost their temper or said something hurtful, they will blame others for forcing them to say it. They do this because they feel like they have lost control and always need to always feel in control.
10 – They have a fragile ego
These types of people want to feel better than others and that they are right and others are wrong. To do this, they will blame others for their mistakes or make it look like someone else made them fail.
How to change this behavior if you struggle with it
If you are struggling to take responsibility for your mistakes, there are ways to change that behavior. Likewise, if someone you know is struggling to take responsibility, you can help them make a change.
Instead of giving up and blaming the obstacle, look for a different option. There is always a way to reach your goal and live the life you want to live. Find a solution to the problem and don’t give up until you do.
While it’s okay to get a little depressed when something doesn’t work, you need to get over it. This is the only way you can find out what works and then move in that direction. Once you can successfully find a way to solve your problem, you will start to take responsibility for mistakes in the future.
2 – Change your mindset
If you have negative thoughts about yourself, change your thought process. Start saying positive affirmations that will help you get out of the negative mindset. This could make a big difference in your life and help you take responsibility for your mistakes.
3 – See everything as a learning opportunity
If you see everything as a learning opportunity, you will learn and grow. This will allow you to admit your responsibility for mistakes because you will recognize the benefit. Seeing it as a learning opportunity will help you avoid future problems and allow you to grow.
4 – Consider what will happen
If you want to avoid responsibility, think about what you will accomplish. You won’t learn from the situation, so avoiding responsibility won’t help you in the long run.
Consider what will happen if you recognize it as well. Not only will you be learning, but you will not stay with guilt or anxiety. Admitting the mistake probably won’t affect you in the long run, anyway, so it’s best to bring it out into the open.
5 – Take a deep breath
If you feel like you’re losing control of your emotions, stop and take a deep breath. Then think about what you are going to do. Do not let yourself react automatically when you are in that emotional state because it is you who is in control of your emotions.
6 – Think about what makes you feel so bad
When people don’t take responsibility for their mistakes, it is often due to negativity, as explained earlier. Think about why you feel so bad and make a change in that area of your life.
How to respond when someone in your life avoids taking responsibility
If you are not the one who avoids taking responsibility, chances are you know someone who does. It can be difficult to communicate and spend time with them if they always behave this way. However, there are ways to remedy the situation.
Explain the behaviors that bother you
Start a conversation with the person about their behavior and how it bothers you. Don’t attack them, but explain that the way they won’t take responsibility is frustrating for you. They may not realize they are doing this, and while it may be an awkward conversation, it will help.
It won’t make you feel good to be around this person if the responsibility is always shifting. If this happens, you will feel bad when you are around them. Kindly let them know you see it and then give yourself some space when necessary.
Walking away from someone is not always an option, especially when you love them or have to work with them. In both cases, it is best to find a solution that works for both of you. As you do this, you should keep him from feeling bad about his behavior.
Offer solutions that can help, and offer help with those solutions if they need it. Offering solutions could open them up to other options and make them think about other things as well. Remember not to tell them what to do, but to offer suggestions.
While it’s frustrating that people don’t take responsibility for their mistakes, you can try to understand them now. Most people don’t want to be like that, and some don’t even realize that they are.
If you are the one who struggles to take responsibility, you can make a change in your life. This change can help you take responsibility, grow, and move forward in life. You can also try to help others change if someone in your life struggles to take responsibility.