You may know someone at work or school who is authoritative. Their drive and arrogance make it difficult to relate to them. Before you give them up, it can help to understand what drives them to do what they do. Here are some other behaviors that reveal that someone is an authoritative person.
What behaviors indicate an authoritarian person?
Vocabulary.com define authoritarian as dismissive, arrogant, insolent, stately, proud and arrogant. Here are some other characteristics of an authoritative person.
You will find it more comfortable to avoid dealing with this personality type when possible. But when it comes to a co-worker or family member, you may not be able to. In these exceptions, here are ten ways you can deal with them.
1 – They are controlling
An authoritative person insists on being in charge. They are often goal oriented, ambitious and practical. They can be so busy achieving goals that they forget about the people around them. An authoritarian person can get angry when others do not agree with his plans. Studies show that controlling people tend to be successful in their careers. This seems like a good thing on one level, except that its success often comes at people’s expense. They use people, managing them as things rather than having a relationship with them.
An authoritative person assumes that you want their advice. They do not notice or understand social clues that their ideas were not appreciated. Dominant people can be confident, even arrogant, in their self-assessment. Without realizing it, they make the people around them feel intimidated. They are the “little executive” who oversees everyone around them. It is a great disappointment and usually causes the people around him to distance himself.
3 – It’s about them
When a person is authoritative, they may listen for a while, but then return the conversation to itself. They may be too eager to talk about themselves. After all, it’s about them. When the authoritative person steals someone’s attention and starts talking about himself, others feel as if they are not listening. Authoritarian people seem selfish and full of themselves due to this bad habit.
4 – They are quick to intervene with their thoughts
Like circling conversions back to themselves, a dominant person is quick to strike up conversations with their thoughts. They get excited about your ideas, interrupting people to share their ideas. It is like a fire hydrant of thoughts that sprout so fast that other people cannot pronounce a word otherwise. An authoritative person can be brilliant but lack good people skills. They do not realize that they are inconsiderate of others when they do this.
5 – They carry score
Everyone knows someone who likes to keep score. They remember all the things they have done for you and accuse you of not contributing to the same extent. It’s like they have a giant scorecard to keep track of what you give them and what they want. It is not pleasant to be around people like that. They are motivated by guilt and expect people to do things for them.
6 – It pushes you to commit
Pressure is never attractive. Being forced to accept or commit to something you don’t want is intimidating. People who do this feel the need to control others for their self-esteem. Dominant people cannot imagine why everyone disagrees with them. They have a broad view of themselves. Instead of asking, they tell people what to do. They could consume themselves or blind themselves to how selfish they are. It is not always clear what their motivations are.
7 – They don’t listen
An authoritative person is usually not a good listener. They basically don’t have time to listen to others and they don’t see why they should listen. Good communication means good listening skills. Studies show that active listening involves all of your senses. People look at your body language and tone of voice than what you are saying. When a person is authoritative, their face and tone convey a sense of superiority rather than compassion and a desire to listen.
8 – They decide everything
Have you ever had a friend who made all the decisions when you hung out together? It’s no wonder an authoritarian person doesn’t have many friends because they insist on making all the decisions. They forget that other people have opinions or don’t care. It is difficult to know their true motivation, but it could be that they have gotten away so much that they feel empowered to make the decisions.
Authoritarian people generally don’t ask questions because they don’t have time to learn the opinions or ideas of others. They devalue the opinions of others, which makes people feel disrespected. Being aggressive and bossy becomes a habit for some people, perhaps because of their personality or because it worked in the past. Whatever the reason, when someone doesn’t care about your opinion, they are inconsiderate and thoughtless.
10 – You do not realize what they are doing
Authoritarian people are not the most self-reflective type. Because of this, they may not understand how they affect people. It’s hard to believe they can overlook it as people are distancing themselves, but the dominant person is probably not paying attention. They are caught up in their own goals and ambitions. They have a perception of themselves, and although it is warped, it can be challenging to persuade them otherwise. You can try pointing out their authoritarian attitudes. It can surprise or enrage them. Authoritarian people can be insecure, so admitting their faults makes them feel vulnerable. Unless you have a great relationship with the person and she trusts you, it may be pointless trying to help her see herself.
What can you do to relate to an authoritative person?
Life means dealing with a dominant person from time to time. Whether it’s your parents, your boss, or a salesperson at your doorstep, you need to figure out how to relate to them.
1 – Set limits
You cannot remove authoritarian people from your life, especially if it is a family member. But you can set limits in them. For example, if your mother is dominant with her opinions about your life choices, set limits on what you will discuss with her. You can say something like
Mom, I would like to talk to you about the things that happen in my life, but talking about my love life is forbidden. I’m Sorry, but it’s like that.
She may not like you, but you can be firm and gentle, conveying that you want to have a relationship with her, but with some limitations.
2 – Be positive
Dominant people ooze negativity. Find ways to be positive with them. You don’t need to let them trample you, but you can positively back off. Choose to be positive and defend your position. Show them respect, but don’t let their bitterness affect your positive attitude.
3 – Be willing to learn from the dominant person
It may seem counterintuitive, but authoritarian people often know a lot. They are probably very experienced and can be successful. You can learn from them. If you can overcome your selfish behavior, you will find someone who has a lot of important things to say. Listen to them, appreciate their thoughts, and encourage them if what they are saying is helpful. Don’t flatter them, but be honest if you’ve learned from them.
4 – walk away
If you’ve done everything you can to try to get along with a dominant person, such as setting boundaries, being positive when backing down, and even being willing to learn from them, but it seems like your relationship has gotten worse, then it may be time to go ahead. If you are feeling stressed by their attitudes and it is dragging you towards a negative view of life, you must decide what to do. It could mean a difficult decision about family or friends. Examine your soul before making this decision. You may need to seek someone else’s opinion. Talk to a good friend or your pastor to find out their objective views. If that’s what you need to do for your physical and mental health, it’s worth stepping away.
You may meet authoritarian people at work, school, or even in your own home. Learning to deal with them and all of their strong behaviors is a life skill. Whether they’re trying to tell you what to do or pressuring you to commit, you’ll need to develop positive ways to back off. Interestingly, learning to deal with an authoritarian person can make you a stronger person because you know how to stand up for yourself.
Be open to learning from an authoritative co-worker or friend. They may have many good thoughts hidden under all their arrogance and pride. Of course, as a last resort, you may need to stay away from your situation to be healthy. It could be a life-altering decision, so seek their opinion first, and then make your decision. It could be the best for you.